Dear Amazon UK,
Were it not for your incredible free shipping to Spain, I would be done with you. Today, I burned my finger and it is your fault. Last week, you managed to smash my package contain much needed kitchen utensils and a Britta filter so my water would not taste like feet. Then you told me that I "returned" the package (apparently code for you smashing it). Then, you made me reorder things at a higher price and jump through 85 hoops to get my lower price refunded to me. But my things were supposed to be here today, finally! And you've already brought me so many wonderful things for so little money! A drying rack! Cute and comfortable boots! A cookbook!
I got home around 7 to discover a note slipped under my door that you shipped my things via MRW and MRW decided to come to deliver during my doorman's siesta (between 12:30 and 5:30 every day). I thought maybe it would say "We're sorry we missed you! We'll try again tomorrow." But no, it says "We came by to deliver your stuff but no one was here. Come pick it up at our office ______ (literally nothing filled in) after _____ o'clock (again nothing filled in). Call us at XXX-XXX-XXX (that was filled in)." Especially awesome since I (a) do not have a cell phone because I (b) do not have a residence card and (c) could not call you and discuss this situation with you even if I wanted to because I don't have the language to say "You jerks bring my package back here tomorrow so I don't have to haul my butt to your offices during work hours." So, I went downstairs to talk to my doorman - who had another present for me (my new computer charger, complete with European extension cord, so I can stop using my cord converter). He tried to call MRW. No surprise, no one answered [side note: we called the residence card office 12 times today - no answer at all]. So the doorman tells me to come back tomorrow morning (he gets there at 9) to check with him about what to do. I have a meeting at work at 10, so I can't do that. I said I'd come back at lunch before he starts his siesta. So tomorrow, I have to leave work and eat lunch at my desk to figure out what to do about this. Hopefully, I don't have to go too far to get the package or I may have to take more time off to do it.
So how what does this have to do with burning my finger. Well, you see, I have no utensils that function well for turning over food. I have a ladle and a spoon that strains things, and another plastic spoon that can spoon sauce over things, and some wooden spoons and silverware. But no tongs. No spatula or turner. Why not? Because you were supposed to deliver those things to me today. Along with a Britta filter to make my water not taste like trash. Did I mention that yet?
I cooked chicken tonight (specifically muslo de pollo which is basically the leg and thigh still connected, often with feathers on them before I cook it). These do not turn easily with a fork and plastic serving spoon combo. I got one turned in the pan ... and then the second one slipped sending the fork into the pan and my finger onto the edge of the scalding hot pan. I now have an awesome blister on my finger. And it's your fault Amazon UK. All. Your. Fault.
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