Since I'm trying to keep this as honest as possible (so I can look back and see how much progress I've made in a couple of weeks or months!), I will admit today was a rough day with a few bright spots.
I woke up feeling sort of in a funk. I was pretty anxious about the allergy symptoms I'm experiencing - a slight rash on my face - I saw my doctor about it in Chicago before I left and it had gone away. I was feeling pretty hopeless about a remedy because everything is different here - the detergent I wash things in, my sheets, my towels, the water, etc. So I decided to go to the pharmacy to try to get hydrocortisone cream for my face and for my itchy bug bites. Every kind of medicine is behind the counter in a pharmacy here, so you have to talk to the pharmacist to get most medications. The plus side of this is that pharmacists can actually give you medication that normally requires a prescription in the US, and for many things, you can just go to the pharmacy instead of to a doctor. Anyhow, I went in and explained to the woman what I wanted. I wrote down "Hydrocortisone" and said I didn't know the word in Spanish, but this is what I wanted in English. She looked totally confused and I managed to pull the word for "itchy" out of nowhere and showed her my bug bite. She immediately understood and came back with a little box of "hidrocortisona" - not sure why "hydrocortisone" so confusing! Anyhow, she gave me instructions for how often to apply it and sent me on my way.
I then made my way to the yarn shop which was totally packed. But I found some beautiful green merino wool yarn, and a pair of circular knitting needles I wanted for a project I'm hoping to start soon.
Finally, I went to the grocery store. After today, I've realized I either need to shop exclusively in the smaller shops, or try to go to the big shop when it's not the weekend. It was packed. And the lines at the meet and fish counters were long. I was about halfway through the shop when I was looking for cleaning supplies and suddenly I got panicky. I'm not sure if it was a full blown panic attack, but it was awful and I felt like I was going to pass out. And/or die. Not that I'm dramatic at all. I managed to calm myself down pretty quickly (I sort of crouched down in an out of the way area and tried to breathe deeply - it worked). I continued on with my shopping but I was still feeling pretty anxious and really, really frustrated with myself. I just couldn't understand why I was so panicky - nothing in particular made me more anxious than normal (although I'm sure the crowded store and my general anxiety about speaking Spanish didn't help).
I eventually made my way home, made myself lunch, took a nap, watched tv and read. I spent a lot of the morning sort of beating myself up for not going out with people today; although, now that it's rainy I'm happy with my choice.
In retrospect, I'm also pretty proud of myself for making it through today. I did a lot of scary things (talking to the pharmacist, for example). So, I panicked a little - no big deal, right? I'm sure my morning anxiety did nothing to help me. Hopefully, if it happens again, I can keep myself calm. And if I panic, I'll survive. I'm fine and feeling totally normal now, so I know what to do if it happens.
In other news, I watched some Spanish television - most of what I've seen so far is horrendously bad. There was a show that is sort of like Jerry Springer. I found the Spanish version of Ugly Betty "Yo soy Bea." They also had the tv movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton dubbed into Spanish. It's really trippy watching dubbed things because the actors mouths are no where close to being in sync with the audio.
Finally, the power went out very, very briefly this afternoon. I used that as an opportunity to reset the clock on my oven (which I couldn't figure out how to reset). But now the oven isn't working and seems to have no power. So tomorrow will require a visit to the doorman downstairs.
Sorry for being a downer today - hopefully tomorrow will bring a more sunshine-y day all the way around!
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