Sunday

Today was the first day I had no agenda (and no wake up time in mind), so I didn't set an alarm.  I woke up on my own as the sun came up, which is much nicer than being jolted awake by an alarm - and promptly threw the covers over my head and fell asleep for another hour and a half.  For a few days I've felt like I might be coming down with a cold - between flying, exhaustion from jet lag, the stress of the move + homesickness, and being in a new environment, I felt like either I had a cold or allergies - or maybe both.  So I slept a little more.  I still feel a little sneezy and gross, but I think I'll be okay - especially if my new plan goes as I hope.

I bought an iPad app before I left called "Yoga in Bed" and it's designed to be done when you first wake up in the morning, before your feet even touch the ground.  It's kind of basic, but is a nice idea.  I did it this morning and feel way, way more energized than I normally do when I get out of bed.  I'm not sure I'll do it every day, but I want to try, at least.  While I was listening to it, a few things struck me.

The program is organized in chapters and the first one is called "breathe."  I was really struck by remembering that the basis of yoga, Pilates, and life, for that matter, is about breathing.  I think it's something I forget to think about when I'm in a panic or homesick or stressed or overwhelmed.  Once I get some post-it notes ... or tape, I'm going to put up some reminders about this throughout my house.

The second thing was that the woman in the program was talking about the "practice" of yoga and "your practice."  It made me realize that today is the first day I get to practice living here.  Before I've been all-conference-all-the-time, but today it's just me and my life here.  I know I won't be as good at it as I am at my life in Chicago (I've had a lot more practice with that life - and I was pretty bad at it at first, too), but I get a chance today to practice it. As a musician, I know the value of practice.  I read something in the notes for the yoga program today that I liked which is "practice makes progress."  I always used to think the phrase "practice makes perfect" was wrong - my more pessimistic version of the "practice makes progress" statement was "practice makes you suck a lot less."  And I think it's true.  Practice makes you better at things, but it doesn't mean you'll never struggle - it just helps you get through the struggles more easily, I guess.

The third thing was when the woman instructed me to "be gentle" with myself - to take care of my body and my emotions.  This is something I really struggle with, since I have next to no patience.  Relaxing, being gentle with my emotions, taking care of myself, and being patient are not my strong suits.  I am good at many things in my life - but these things are not in that set.

So upon hearing this, I decided to practice my life here today.  I wanted to practice what I want a relaxing day to be like.  So, I stayed in my pajamas all morning.  I read a bunch and stayed away from the computer (until now).  I sat on my terrace and enjoyed the fact that the air here is clear and easy to breathe.  I watched little kids playing on the jai alai court outside my window.  And now, I'm going to take a shower, finish the last bits of unpacking, unload the dishwasher, and head out for an adventure.  I'm not sure where I'm going yet - probably back to El Centro or Parte Vieja.  I might even be brave and get lunch by myself at a restaurant (not sure if I'm ready for this one yet, honestly!).  Regardless, I'm going to practice my life here a little bit.  Pete said to me the other day that there was nothing wrong with being by myself.  I don't think I like to be alone because I'm not particularly patient with myself - when I'm with other people I can be impatient with them instead. ;-)

I think in a lot of ways being here is good for me.  It's giving me the chance to live a healthier life and to practice things that I wouldn't practice if I stayed in my comfort zone in Chicago.  I get to practice writing for work, something I've always had trouble being patient about.  I get to practice feeding myself good food (it is almost impossible to find processed food other than candy in a grocery store or restaurant).  I get to practice taking care of myself by exercising in ways that don't feel like going to the gym (climbing the hill every day, for instance).  And I get to practice being patient with myself, and realizing that my life here isn't going to be wonderful all the time - but it doesn't mean it isn't going to be perfect in it's own way.