In which I am a big, huge baby

I left Puerto Rico today.  Or yesterday.  Or whatever day it is/was.  My body is totally confused by the fact that it is noon right now and not 6 am.  I'll write about the trip itself tomorrow or this weekend.  In the meantime, here's some whining for you:

This whole living in Spain thing is fine.  It can be exciting and interesting.  My job is great.  I actually like it, except for the part where I live in a different country than my husband.  And that part is awful.  And really, really not fair.  I know I chose this path and I know I chose this career and I know I am lucky to have a job at all, let alone the job I have in the place I have it.  That said, I would really like to live in the same place as Pete.  Coming back was much, much harder than I anticipated.  I know it will be better once I get back to work and back in the swing of things.  I already have plans for tonight to catch up with my friends.  But in the meantime (and probably at other times) it's just awful.  I've been trying not to cry in public because I hate doing that.  Especially when I'm by myself.  On a plane.    I think it takes away from my savvy traveler persona that I try to project. :)

Travel is always stressful.  I love travel, but I don't love flying.  I hate turbulence.  I hate being herded onto planes with a billion other people.  I hate terrible airport food (and even worse airplane food).  I actually love take off and landing, though.  I love the idea of going somewhere and getting there.  I do love the quiet time that being on a plane gives me, and it shows me that I don't really hate being alone (when I'm not totally alone).

There's a shift that happens when I'm suddenly on my own.  It used to happen when I traveled for work, and I sort of liked it.  I was independent and able to be successful getting myself from one place to another.  I've now flown across the ocean without a travel companion about a dozen times.  I've always gotten where I needed to be, even if that involved a series of planes, trains, busses, and cars that would sometimes make me crazy.  But I don't mind traveling on my own.  I just like it more when the end result is NOT me being on my own.  I like it when the result is visiting people I love or going back home (stay tuned for musings on "home).  Today the result is being on my own without the best companion there is for 33 days (not that I'm counting).  Then, I'll see him for a week again and be back here until November.  Hopefully, he can come in the interim, so I won't be here for three and a half months without interruption.  If he can't, I'm just going to have to put myself to the task of finding cheap European travel, so I at least have something fun to look forward to.

As for now, I'm trying to remind myself how much better it gets ... and how much easier it will be this time than when I arrived in April.  And I'm counting down those 33 days.

Unfocused ...

I'm going to Puerto Rico for a wedding and to see Peter this week.  I leave Tuesday for Bilbao, where I'll spend the night at a hotel near the airport.  My flight leaves at 8:30 the next morning, and the buses from San Sebastián to Bilbao don't leave that early.  I'm going to try to leave work a little early on Tuesday, but I have about a million things to do before I leave.  I need to finish some data analysis, finish writing two conference abstracts, and do several other work related things.  Plus, I need to pack for Puerto Rico.  I wasn't super smart when packing to come here, so I don't really have beach/resort clothes with me, and I don't really have great options for the wedding and all the related events.  Depending on how much I get done tonight, I might end up trying to do a little shopping before I go.  Otherwise, I'll pack what I have, and if I need clothing, it's not like they don't sell it in Puerto Rico.

I think I'm having trouble focusing on anything because I'm so excited about Puerto Rico.  I'm not even having my usual pre-travel freak-out.  That isn't to say I'm thrilled about traveling.  I leave here Tuesday evening and take the bus to Bilbao (I still need to figure out how to get to the bus station, since it's not very easy to just call a cab).  Then I go to the Bilbao airport Wednesday morning for a 1 hour flight to Madrid.  I have a 2.5 hour layover in Madrid and then a 9+ hour flight to Miami ... then a 2 hour layover and a 2.5 hour flight to San Juan.  I leave Bilbao at 8:30 am and get into San Juan at 8 pm on Wednesday night, which is 2 am Spain time, so I'll be traveling for about 18 hours (not counting travel to and from the airport, waiting for bags, etc.).  I'm sure I'll sleep well Wednesday night!

Weather

It's supposed to be in the mid-high 70s and sunny today and tomorrow here in San Sebastián.  Unfortunately, I forgot to check what temperature it was when I left the house.  Even though I wore a wool cardigan over my blouse and tights under my skirt, I was FREEZING and cranky waiting at the bus stop.  The bus was 2 whole minutes later than it said it would be, so I had to wait almost 10(!) minutes for the bus.

This is a sign of how truly spoiled I have become.  In Chicago, I routinely waited longer than 20 minutes for a train, often in temperatures that were actually freezing - not mid-50s and sunny! It is really amazing that door to door, it has not taken me longer than 30 minutes to get to work so far.  That is a huge cause for celebration since my commute in Chicago was so fraught with uncertainty (will it take me 30 minutes?  An hour and a half?  Who knows!).

The real "problem" with the weather here is that the temperature swings so much throughout the day.  I really need to be much better about layering - something that is tricky given my current wardrobe!  I'm thinking about ordering some things to Chicago and having Pete bring them to me in Puerto Rico.  Currently at the top of the list are tops I can wear with the skirts I have here and maybe a couple of cardigans.

Music

Last night, I went out with some friends for a quick drink.  Then we ended up at the cafe/lounge/bar where one of the girls' boyfriends leads a session.  It's pretty informal with everyone playing or singing at some point - the music is a little folky/singer-songwritery, but overall it was  a lot of fun.  I was told a girl would be there with a violin - it was actually a viola ... and I chickened out about playing it (plus, she wasn't fantastic and I didn't want it to seem like I was attempting to show her up).  Apparently this happens every Tuesday, so I'll definitely go back again.  I think I might sing next time though.  It was a good way to celebrate 3 weeks of being in Spain.  I'm almost halfway to my first trip back to see Pete (I've been here 21 days - there are 27 days 'til I go to Puerto Rico - not that I'm counting).

I walked home, which was fine (and apparently totally safe as I saw a child walking by himself, an old woman walking by herself and about a dozen people my age walking by themselves).

The problem is that the hill involves aerobic exercise - so when I wanted to go to sleep, I was completely hyped up.  I'll have to take a cab home next time if I want to go to sleep soon after I get there!

As always, there is various drama in my life - this time we're back to the people at my apartment building insisting they haven't received my deposit or my rent for last month.  I'm pretty sure the problem is that it came under Pete's name, not mine, but who knows.  The money has moved out of Pete's account and into an account at the bank in Spain.  Hopefully, they'll get this sorted out because it's really (really) obnoxious for Pete to have to deal with.  And also obnoxious for me to have to deal with!

I'm starting to feel more and more like this is a real place and I'm not on vacation.  I see the same people at the bus stop every morning.  Including three nuns from a nearby convent who come out to buy the paper and some bread every morning.  There are also two kids in school uniforms with their nanny who get picked up by their school bus (a huge charter bus) every morning right before my bus comes.  There's also a guy who gets on my bus every morning and also works in the area where I work.  It's weird to already be recognizing people, but I sort of like it!

Success!

I left my house at around 8:30 this morning and made it to work before 10.  I walked about a mile and a half to the bank and spent the whole time practicing conversation for the bank.  I practiced saying, "The ATM took my card.  A woman at my job told me to come here and get a new one" in Spanish.  I practiced saying, "Also, I wrote the wrong signature on the website and I got locked out of my online account!  Can you unblock it for me?" 

I got there and everyone was pretty busy, but I finally got a guy to help me.  I asked if he (or anyone there) spoke English and told him my Spanish was terrible - but no luck there.  I launched into my spiel about the ATM card and he asked if it was a machine in that place that took my card. And here was the real test.  I had to say things I hadn't practiced.  I told him that the woman at my job had called them, and they told her that they would have the card for me.  So, he went into an office and voila!  My card!  It was the actual card that the ATM had eaten with my signature and everything.  We tested it to make sure it worked and it does.  The guy asked me if I needed the ATM translated to English, but then said my Spanish was good enough he thought I would be okay in Castellano.  So now I do all my transactions in Spanish ... I can always change it later if it's too hard. 

Then we moved on to the internet issue - he fixed everything for me there and we tested the key (though not the signature - so hopefully that works).  I had a good combination of Spanish I had practiced and improv Spanish, but he understood everything I needed and was very helpful.

I honestly feel like if I can do this, I can do almost any face to face interaction.  I think the phone would be way harder, because it's harder to understand in both directions.  Fortunately, they're not huge on phone based customer service here, so I should be able to survive.  Overall, I'm feeling so much better about the whole language barrier/culture shock issue.

I am not very good at patience or at making mistakes, and my time here so far has tested both of those things pretty substantially.  Today demonstrated to me that I need to be more patient with myself (a constant struggle) and to be willing to make mistakes.  In a weird way, if I hadn't totally misunderstood the entire banking system here, I wouldn't have had a chance to practice my Spanish today.  While I was practicing my Spanish, I know I made about 4 billion mistakes, but I survived.  No one yelled at me or laughed at me and the guy understood everything I needed.  So, the next time I need to practice, I'll be a little less scared.  And maybe I'll leave this whole experience actually speaking real Spanish - which was one of my big goals anyhow.

Between this excitement and all of the exciting things getting started at work, today is one of the days when I feel like "I can do this!"  I'm sure I'll have more "What am I DOING here?!?" days, but it's nice to feel like I might be able to succeed!

Better day already ...

It's only 8:20 but I know today is going to be a better day - I feel more awake already than I did all day yesterday.  The weather is supposed to be clearer 'til the evening.  I'm going to get home in time to go to the grocery store.  A friend of mine is showing me how to put money on the bus pass.  And I won't suck in Spanish today, since I've already practiced some this morning.  :)  Plus, I'm wearing pink which always means I have a good day.  I do, however, feel like I need to find some good music to work to - if you have any suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments (click on the "0 comment" link below and it should let you comment)!

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Once again, I forgot to hit "post".  But it's okay because I had something else to say!

The busses here have televisions on them which show ads, where the next stop is, relevant information about the town ... they show where the "farmacias de guardia" are (all pharmacies keep Spanish time - except for one or two in each town which stay open for 24 hour.  This responsibility rotates among the pharmacies - and it's posted on all the closed pharmacies where the nearest open one is.  This is important since you can't even buy tylenol outside of a pharmacy here - and all medicine is behind the counter).  Anyhow, I can't believe I didn't mention my favorite thing, which is that the bus televisions have birth announcements for all of the babies born in the last 24 hours.  How cool is that?  Yesterday four kids were born, so far as I could tell on the tv - two Xabiers among them (pronounced "shah-bee-air").  I feel like every little boy I see here is called Xabier, which I sort of love because the nickname is "Xabi" (Shah-bee).  Too cute.

Here's the part where I feel like a stupid foreigner.

So.  The first time I tried to use my ATM card (last week) it got eaten by the ATM.  When I got my bank account they gave me a PIN (4 numbers) and a Signature (8 letters).  We used a computer to change my PIN and my Signature, so I assumed that what worked to access my account online, would work to access my account at the ATM.  No such luck.  Apparently, I didn't really change the PIN ... or didn't change the right PIN ... or something.

THEN, I got my bus card today and I saw online that you could transfer funds online and then just go to the ATM to activate the bus card.  This was preferable because I have a dictionary and translation software at home and no Spaniards looking at me like a crazy person poking around on the ATM.  In order to do this you need to use your Signature.  So, I tried both the Signature I thought I was using and the Signature they gave me ... and got locked out of my online account.  Awesome.

So now, I have to go to "my" branch (you can't just go to any branch - you have to go to the one the assign you to) to pick up a new ATM card and to get my online account unlocked.  I'm scared to even try to load the bus card at an ATM because I don't want that to get eaten to - but I am super anxious to be able to pay way less for my bus rides.  I'm also anxious because I have no clue where to put my card when I get on the bus.  There are 3 different machines for 3 different types of cards.  I think I know which one mine goes to, but who knows.  I also thought I had changed my PIN and apparently I didn't.

This is the most frustrating part of the move.  The hardest part is leaving my friends and family behind.  But the combination of the language barrier and the culture barrier is the most frustrating.  It's not like I can just call up customer service (not that they'd be open anyhow) and say "Here's what happened, what's going on?"  I could do that, but then I'd have to deal with banking Spanish that would be very, very fast.  So, I had to crawl with my tail between my legs to the administrative assistant, who surely thinks I'm an idiot by now.

I was also totally not in the mood for Spanish class today (even before all the bank business).  We started class at 5, an hour later than yesterday, and I was sleepy and ready for a break, not for more mental exercise.  I literally could not think of things to say in English, let alone Spanish.

To top all of this off, I forgot my tupperware, my arugula, and my apple in the fridge at work.  I guess this means I have greens and fruit for tomorrow - and that I'll have to bring home two tupperwares tomorrow (that is, if I can figure out something to cook tonight that can also be reheated tomorrow).

Oh well, tomorrow is another day full of opportunities to make more mistakes.  Maybe I should just start thinking of these as "learning opportunities" instead of mistakes.

So Much Bureaucracy

Today was the day that the administrative assistant at work was going to take me around to get all the various cards and things I need to be legal here (and to get paid, get healthcare, etc.).

I was supposed to meet her at 9:30.  So, at 9:30 I headed downstairs.  The woman who is sort of in charge here came out to tell me that my contact from work (E.) was running late and would be there in 15 minutes.  I asked the woman if she had my contract (lease) signed for me to take with me.  She said, "yes", which apparently meant "not really."  So about 15 minutes later E pulled up on her scooter.  And I realized I was going to be riding around on the back of the scooter all day.  She came in and asked the woman for the contract.  The woman's "si" to me turns into 5 minutes of a rapid fire Spanish conversation.  I understood things like "on it's way" and "the guy has to follow a path."   I turns out that of course they did NOT have the signed contract, but were messengering it over - from the building we were about to go to (ugh).  So we waited.  And waited.  It's 10:30, 10:45.  We got coffee from the vending machine in the communal living room here [side note:  the coffee from this little machine is dirt cheap and they have plenty of decaf options.  You also get to choose how sweet your coffee is on the machine.  Unfortunately, the least sweet coffee tastes like you're drinking super sweet coffee flavored milk - you get what you pay for, I guess). Finally, the woman came in with a FAXED copy of contract - not the original.  The original wouldn't be there 'til the afternoon.  Keep in mind, I asked them for this copy 5 days ago.  I thought E was going to kill the woman.  But she didn't and we headed out to the scooter.  She said on the way that she was pretty worried they wouldn't accept the copy of the lease, but it was worth a try.  So, she laid out what we were going to do today:  register with the census, register for my resident card, open a bank account, register at my health center, get my bus card, and get a cell phone. She said "we might be lucky and finish everything today."

So, we got on the scooter (I have known this woman for all of 5 days and we've talked for maybe 5 minutes before this - but modesty isn't a thing in Spain I guess - on the scooter we went).  We zipped down the hill to the area where all the offices were.  I needed 6 passport photos (taken in a photo booth) and some photocopies before I could fill out all my paper work.  So, we got the photos and the copies.  Then we went to the comisario (police station, basically), where we grabbed a number from a machine.  We saw there were about 14 people ahead of us, so we ran over to the padron's office (essentially the social security office) to register.  This was where we needed the lease we didn't have - and one copy of it was on the 4th floor of the building we were going into.  So ... we took a number again (2 people ahead of us) and E got on the phone with the people upstairs.  They were completely unhelpful and we our number was called.  We sat down with the guy behind the desk, who was not to happy we had a copy.  E explained to him the situation and he finally agreed to fill out the paper work.  She said after that she knew him from doing this with other researchers, or he might not have been so helpful.  I was registered with the census, and we sprinted back to the comisario.

We got there, and there were only 3 people ahead of us.  As we were waiting they cut off the line for people taking numbers - it was 12 and everyone who didn't already have a number had to come back tomorrow.  We got in, and filed the paper work for my resident card.  E explained to me that after 40 days, I'd come back to get my card ... this is sort of cutting it close since I can't leave the country and get back in without it - and I'm going to puerto rico in ~ 44 days.  Fortunately, she said that it is often ready earlier since they get shipped in batches.  So, then we had to run to a local branch of the bank to make a transfer from my employer's bank account to the comisario to pay for my resident card.  We took a number (again) at the bank, got the paper work for our transfer, and went back to the comasario, where we took another number (they make exceptions on the whole "no new number" thing for people making the bank transfer).  It took FOREVER to get in this time.  We got yelled at once for being impatient and trying to sneak in early.  We finally got in and gave them the transfer paperwork.  They took fingerprints (because obviously the set I sent the FBI and the Spanish government earlier are not sufficient).  Then we decided to go get my bank account before the bank closed (even though my health center is in the same neighborhood as the comisario, etc.).

So, we sprinted back to the bike, and went into El Centro and went to the main branch of the bank.  We ran into the bank and ... took a number!  Fortunately, no one was ahead of us in line this time.  We sat down with the woman and she determined that I would get a "young person's account" since I'm under 30.  I also had to open a foreigner's account since I don't have my resident card yet. Once I get it, I get to go to the bank and they will not charge me any more fees (it's 14 € every six months for the foreigner account).   With the youth account account I get discounts on group tours and other "young person's events", apparently.  The bank is also where you apply for a bus card, so I got a bus card application to fill out as well.  After more than an hour there, we left with all my bank account information, and the promise that my bus card would come "after Easter."  Then we went to a computer to change my PIN and password to sign into my account online.  A guy also showed us that I have a "virtual credit card" I can use online.  I have no idea when I'd ever use it, but it's nice to know it's there, I guess.  Then E decided it was time for lunch - we'd already been at this for over 4 hours and we were both starved.  So we went to a little pintxos bar and had a couple of sandwiches and she had coffee.  Everyone around us was enjoying some wine, which made me want some, but we still had a lot to do.

After lunch, it was back to the scooter, and back to Amara where the health center is located.  The health center looks really new and convenient.  After taking yet another number, we talked to a lady who got my account set up.  She assigned me a doctor who "speaks more or less the English," who is in every afternoon.  If I need an appointment, I call or go online, show up and go to the office number I'm given online.  The health center is completely free and covers everything except for dentistry, chiropractic and a few other miscellaneous things.  Hopefully, I won't have to visit them often (if at all), but it's good to know they're there.  I get my permanent health care card in 2.5-3 months.

After the health center, we went back downtown to get my phone.  E decided I should get a phone with a contract, because they give you the phone free (or cheap), whereas a pre-paid phone you have to pay for the phone and the plans are more expensive.  So, we asked the woman at the store who insisted that I need my official residence card to open this kind of account.  I decided to just wait on the phone until I get my resident card - it's not like I'm calling tons of people in Spain and I have a phone I can use for emergencies here.

So then it was almost 4 o'clock (6.5 hours after we started all of this), so rather than going into work, we headed home.  We decided we WERE really lucky because we didn't have to wait too long for anyone or anything.  Now I have to wait 40(ish) days for my resident card to arrive to the comisario.  We'll call in a month or so and see if it's there.  When I get it, E and I go back to the comisario to retrieve it, then we'll get my phone and change my bank account to a non-foreigner's account.  Now, I just have to wait for my ATM card, my bus pass, and my permanent health card to show up in the mail!

I'm pretty relieved all of this is done - though I wish the resident card would come sooner!  I'm ready to finish these other things now!  I also have to say I am SO lucky to have an employer who helped me take care of all of this.  Bureaucracy is hard enough in your own language and country, let alone a new country with a new language.  I would have been totally lost today and it would have been way, way more stressful than it was.

I managed to get some grocery shopping done this afternoon.  I know I still have at least one more big trip to make before this weekend to make sure I have enough food - my local market is totally closed from Wednesday at 9 until Tuesday at 9.

I'm struggling a little with cooking here (especially with coming up with stuff to take to work for lunch ... I'm hopeful I'll have decent leftovers tonight, but we'll see).  It's hard to cook for one person, especially with limited ingredients since I have yet to go to the real supermarket!  Hopefully, I'll be brave enough to go this weekend. I'm also hoping I can get ahold of one of those great carts that everyone here has, so I don't have to haul my stuff by myself.  My supervisor and I are both working on Thursday - apparently we can get into the building.  So I'm feeling pretty good about that - I'll only have 4 days to fill instead of the dreaded 5. I'm trying to look at these days as an opportunity to relax a little and be really refreshed to start work in earnest next week.

Saving the best news for last, I managed to go a whole day yesterday with NO tears.  I knew it would happen eventually, but looking back to last Tuesday (it's hard to believe I've been here almost a week), I thought it wouldn't.  I remember saying to someone "I wish I could just see a week or a month from now and know I'm okay."  And I am.  Okay, that is.  It's not easy.  And it's still not particularly fun (especially at night, and especially being away from Pete).  But it's okay - and that's all I'm asking for right now.

Congratulations if you made it through this novel.  I'm happy to have this as a chronicle of my time here, and I'm sure I'll be glad I have it to look back on in the future.  Hopefully, it's not too tedious to read!

Day 1

I woke up this morning feeling awesome, so I headed into work for a few hours. Part of this involved figuring out the bus system, which is (a) not transparent and (b) in Spanish/Basque which compounds the not-transparency.  But I managed it.  The walk from my house to the bus stop is <5 minutes, and the bus ride itself is <10.  Then I have about a 10 minute walk from the bus stop to my office.  In theory, I could make it to work in <30 minutes.  Unfortunately, there are two bus options one runs once an hour and one runs twice an hour.  The good news is that those twice an hour buses actually run every 30 minutes, unlike if they were, say, the CTA where they would run twice an hour two minutes apart.  Basically, I need to budget around an hour to get to work if I have a meeting.  The good news is that I only have a meeting one day a week, and it's at 10.  People seem to be pretty flexible with time as well arriving at the office between 9 (when I got there today) and 11.  The bus ride to work is actually quite beautiful, through some rolling hills, and the walks are also very easy.  Here's hoping I stay so rosy about the transportation in a few weeks (or on a rainy day)!

The place where I work is incredible.  I'm not going to go into a lot of details (e-mail me if you're interested in hearing more), but the people are all very friendly.  I share an office with three others, who all seem very friendly.  Our lab space is gorgeous.  One thing I'm pretty excited about is our great lunch room, which, I know seems stupid.  But people all go there and eat lunch together, have snacks, etc.  There are also dishes to use if you bring food - and a dishwasher.  I didn't bring food today (as I don't have much in my house and have no way of transporting it to the office yet - I've added tupperware of some sort to my list of stuff to buy), but there's a little "cafeteria" (aka - bar) just about a block away from the office, which has decent, inexpensive food to eat in or take out.  Plus drinks in the middle of the day should that become necessary.  There's also a very fancy restaurant in the same building - which is weird because we're in a "technological park" which basically means that it's all companies, so having a Michelin starred restaurant there is a little odd.  After lunch, I tried to do some more work, but was getting exhausted, so I'm home now preparing for a nap.

Tonight I'm meeting a woman who lives nearby who is from Michigan (and around my mom's age).  It'll be nice to get to know some people who don't work at the center, though they all seem really nice.

Overall, I'm feeling much better about everything today.   I came here to do good, interesting work and that's why I made the sacrifice to leave Chicago and a lot of things and people I really care about.  I was really glad to see that I'm going to have a great place to go where people are excited, and I get to do work I'm excited about.  It makes this whole thing seem more worthwhile.