Don't drink the sangria

So last night was a co-worker's birthday, and like any event here, this means pintxos!

We went to two of my favorite pintxos bars and then one of my favorite cafes.  At the first cafe, there was a group of American women who made two rookie mistakes that made it clear to everyone that (a) they were not from around these parts and (b) obviously haven't taken the time to read a guidebook/website/anything about the culture and the customs around here (besides "these are good pintxos bars to go to).

So let me set the scene for you.  This particular bar is one of our favorite places because they have a huge terrace on one of the big plazas in the old part of town.  Inside, the bar itself is quite large, and always packed.  I think there are a couple of picnic-style tables in the back (though I think they're for raciones only - the larger plates), but the rest of the "tables" are tiny little shelfs jutting off the walls and, if you're really lucky, a wine barrel.  So, we managed to grab a wine barrel when we got in, and the tourists were at the barrel next to us.  The traditional thing to do at pintxos bars in the Basque Country and (tapas bars in Spain in general) is to have 1-2 pintxos each at a bar, a small glass of wine/beer/cider with your food, and then move on to another place.  These Americans ordered 18 pintxos to split between the three of them (ordering them all at once, which mean they all came out at once).  They also ordered directly form the bar instead of any of the hot pintxos off the blackboards.  (More about the blackboard vs. bar pintxos soon ... as well as learning what the best pintxos are at each place.)  But, in addition to this, they made the biggest mistake you can make in northern Spain.  They ordered sangria.

So I know everyone in the US has this idea of Spanish food and drink from tapas restaurants and tv shows.  In a tapas restaurant, you order the tapas for the table, typically all at once, and then the restaurant paces out what they bring to you, so you get a little bit for sharing at a time.  Plus, you order a huge pitcher of sangria, that's what they drink in Spain, right?

No.

In Spain, especially in northern Spain, you might drink homemade sangria at home, but when you go out you get wine, beer, cider, or a soft drink (grape juice, soda, etc.).  Never sangria.  You can tell that you never get sangria here because when someone does order sangria, they fancy it up by putting brightly colored straws and umbrellas in it, as if a neon warning sign to the other patrons "THESE ARE TOURISTS.  THEY WILL ASK YOU TO TAKE THEIR PICTURE AND NOT UNDERSTAND HOW WE SHARE SPACE IN PINTXOS BARS."  The other major no-no is ordering so much food at once.  First of all, I can't imagine any self-respecting Spaniard eating more than 1 or 2 pintxos per bar before moving on.  And even if you wanted more, you don't have room on a wine barrel table for 18 different tiny plates.

It didn't help that these girls were obnoxious and the sorts of tourists who make you want to punch them in the head because they are so insistent on NOT learning anything about the culture before they come, expect everyone to speak to them in English, etc.  One girl actually said "I feel like they should let visitors reserve these tables so they don't have to wait."  Or, princess, you could just do what everyone else who walks into this bar does.  Wait for a table.  Or stand and eat with your plate in your hand.  Just like the 80 year old couple behind you is doing right now, since you are standing at an empty table since you've finished your pintxos and are just sipping on your wine and standing around a table.

So lessons here:
1. Read about the culture before you go to a place
2. At least learn how to say "Do you speak English", "I don't speak X" and "Thank you" in the language of the culture you're going to
3. Don't drink the sangria.