It happened ...

As I knew I would, eventually,  I locked myself out of my apartment today.

First, I need to explain about my key.  My key is a card like they have in hotels that you touch to the door and it opens your unit (and the building, laundry room, terrace, etc.).  Once I'm in my apartment, I have to put it in a little slot and that controls the lights and the electricity.  So it's not something I can just leave by the door and grab on my way out.  I have a little note on the door that says "Key?" to remind me to grab it.  But obviously it didn't work this time.

I was doing laundry downstairs and the change machine wasn't working and I was one coin short, so I ran back up to my apartment, put the key in the slot to turn the lights on so I could see, and then ran back out the door ... with no key.

So then I went up to a co-worker's apartment and asked to borrow her phone to call the locksmith ... Negotiating a locksmith is not my favorite thing to do in English, but in Spanish it's a particular trick.

But I managed to do it, miracle of miracles.

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The weather here has been particularly terrible -- 80-100 mph winds, hail and torrential rain -- leaving me holed up in my apartment.  This is probably good because I have a ton of work to do before I leave (5 days!!!) and packing, a billion other errands, etc.

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I'm still coughing my face off, though feeling much more human in general.  I won't complain about a little coughing as long as I'm not horizontal for days at a time.

Next time, update about my crazy workplace.

Some things

• We had our work Christmas dinner last night, which confirmed I work in the weirdest place ever.  More on that in another post.

• I am still sick.  Of course.  I am mostly just coughing now, which is fine with me since I don't actually FEEL sick.  Until I lie down to go to bed at night, then all the congestion hits me and I cough until 3 am.  Yay!  I'm still hopeful that I can shake this by next week.

• Oh, yeah ... next week at this time I will be home, sleeping in my Chicago bed.  Can't wait.

• It is hard for it to feel like Christmas when it's 60 degrees outside.  How do people in warm and temperate climates ever know what time of year it is?  Because it's pretty much felt like April since I got here.  Except for those few hot days in the summer.  The only real difference is the amount of daylight we have.  And the fact that it is super windy and there are incredible crazy, crazy waves.  Crazy as in 1-2 stories tall. 

• To counteract the whole "doesn't feel like Christmas" thing, I've started listening to Christmas music while working.  Since music affects my dreams, I've been having crazy Christmas dreams. 

• Keep thinking good thoughts/saying prayers/etc. about job stuff.  News will continue rolling in until Christmas, then I get a week to breathe before more waiting.  As everyone who knows me knows, I am not a patient person, so this whole waiting thing is really the pits.  I'm still hopeful, though!

Update

So, I did not die from my sickness, though I will say it was the sickest I remember being in my adult life.  It started with a cold, morphed into a stomach bug (stomach MONSTER more accurately) with a fever, and slowly slid back to cold territory.  My stomach is mostly back to normal now, about a week later, but the cold is hanging on.  I'm mostly okay with the cold, since it does not involve me needing to sprint to the bathroom 10-20 times a day.

Things here are crazy, since I missed two and half days of work last week with the Stomach Monster and fever.  I had a friend come visit this weekend, which was great, but between the sickness and the visit, I started the week exhausted.  Fortunately, this week was another weird Spanish holiday week.  Our office was closed both Tuesday and Thursday.  But this also meant that the other days were packed with meetings.  All of this means I've gotten next to nothing done for the past two weeks and only have 8 working days before I go back to Chicago.  I'd love to have a mostly work-free holiday season, but I don't think that is in the cards!

Speaking of holidays, Spain has finally gotten in the Christmas spirit, with lights and trees.  It's a little hard to feel the Christmas spirit when it is 60 degrees and sunny, but I am not complaining at all.  In fact, it has not taken long for me to lose my winter toughness developed after 28 winters in the midwest and New England.  Yesterday, I was walking downtown and said, "It is so cold!!  I'm freezing."  Then I saw that the temperature clock read 9 degrees (Celsius) which is, oh, right around 49 degrees Fahrenheit.  In other words?  Not cold.  At all.  But apparently I'm a baby now.

In other Christmas news, apparently no Christmas decorations are complete here in the Basque Country without a giant inflatable Olentzero sitting atop the McDo.  What's that you say?  You've never heard of Olentzero?  A Basque version of Santa Claus?  Well, get reading:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olentzero (Research courtesy of my friend Charlotte).  I would also suggest you check out his song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLP6xWCanCw If you are too lazy to check out the links, here is the basic story:  Olentzero is a giant (or maybe not a giant, but a big, strong guy who burns charcoal and maybe died in a fire and was then granted eternal life) who brings presents to children typically on Christmas Eve.  He is also possibly a drunk.  Oh, and the best part?  He walks around with a sickle and if you are a child who refuses to go to sleep, or anyone who breaks the fast on Christmas Eve, Olentzero comes to visit you, not to bring presents, but rather to cut your throat out with a sickle.  Because obviously no Christmas story is complete without a terrifying, possibly giant, possibly drunk man sneaking into your house to cut your throat out with a sickle.

You should really, really read the article because it has the lyrics and the translation to one of the Olentzero Songs - as a teaser, it does involve:  Our Olentzero / we can't sate him / he has eaten whole / ten piglets. / Ribs and pork loin / so many intestines / because Jesus is born / have mercy.  


I mean, honestly, how can you not love the Basque people for coming up with this?  It is way better than a sleigh.


Finally, good thoughts and prayers are still appreciated regarding the job market.  News is starting to trickle out and I've had both good and bad pieces of news.  I'm hoping to take some time off worrying about jobs over the break, but I wouldn't mind hearing some more good news before Christmas.  All I want for Christmas is a job doing what I've spent 7+ years training to do in the same country my husband lives in.  Not so much to ask, is it?

Sick

Well, I knew I'd get sick sometime here. I had just hoped it would be a manageable cold. Instead, I have a crazy stomach bug, fever, and a cold. I've slept 20. Of the last 24 hours, and plan to continue sleeping tomorrow. Unfortunately, I managed to time it perfectly so I'm sick immediately before a friend of mine is coming from the us. I'm hopeful that this will go away soon, otherwise, I'll have to make my first trip to a Spanish doctor and experience socialized medicine for myself! Fingers crossed that I can take care of this at home.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:My bed, San Sebastián,Spain

Thankful

I thought I'd be really sad today, but I'm not.  I think it's due in large part to the fact that it barely even feels like fall here, let alone early winter.  It's still in the mid 60s during the day, dipping into the (very) high 40s at night.  It's also missing that Thanksgiving feeling because I'm not bombarded every where I go by ads for Black Friday and Christmas decorations.  And I'm okay with that.  The result is that I'm able to feel thankful instead.  So instead of an update on how things are (short version:  very, very busy; speaking Spanish as much as I can, Basque is almost impossibly hard, also very busy), I thought I'd say some things I'm thankful for.  I'm trying to focus on those things I'm thankful for here this year, so here goes:

- I am thankful for a really great job that pays actual money to get to do something that I love to do and would probably do for free.  In this world economy, having such a job is not a given and in my field it is increasingly rare.

- I am thankful for good, smart, funny and kind friends here who take care of me and are great to me even when I'm a pain in the ass to be around and can only talk about looking for jobs and going to visit my husband.  I'm especially thankful that they agreed to come with me to a restaurant for "Thanksgiving Dinner" tonight.  We're also trying to hold a more traditional dinner on Saturday at a friends house. In a country that doesn't really use turkey as a food item, it will definitely be a challenge.

- I'm thankful for a truly beautiful city.  Every day, I pause on my way to the bus to look at the view and realize how incredible it is.

- I'm thankful for good food here (though I have only had ONE pintxo since returning from the US.  This has to be remedied immediately).

- I'm thankful for my friends and family back in the US who support me.  I could not be luckier.

- Except that I am because I also have a husband who could probably win the competition for World's Best Husband.

So, I have a lot to be thankful for.  Even though Thanksgiving Day is a confusing thing for a lot of Spanish people (I've had to tell the story of why we celebrate Thanksgiving new fewer than 4 times), the word for it in Spanish is pretty great:  El Dia de Acción de Gracias - Literally "the day of actions of thanks."

Surprises

Well, turns out all of my crabbiness on Monday was mostly unfounded.  I got back and have been mostly fine.  Largely because it feels like I never left, which is weird.  Since I had similar weird feelings of never having left in Chicago.  So it's like I have two parallel lives that are fine by themselves, but when they meet each other it's very dramatic.  Very weird.  Maybe more on that later.

So that was a surprise.

A bigger surprise was that suddenly way more of my life is happening in Spanish.  People are talking to me at bus stops. The administration at work has suddenly decided to communicate with me in Spanish.  I ran into my Basque teacher who communicated with me only in Spanish and Basque (that language is going to make me crazy).  I'm happy about this change, but I also feel like I really need to make the next jump up in Spanish.  My class has stagnated a little bit and I need to figure out the next thing to make that jump up.  Part of my plan is to go to a weekly language exchange group in addition to my current one-on-one language exchange.  Another part is to do some self study of grammar so I can spend more of my Spanish class actually practicing some creativity with the language instead of thinking about how to conjugate a certain verb in the past subjunctive.  I'm hoping that heading back to Basque class will also help my Spanish leap to the next stage.  I can definitely communicate almost everything I want to know, but I still have to work around a lot of vocabulary I don't know and make tons of grammar mistakes.  I confuse the verb tenses a lot, but am making many few mistakes in my writing than I was even a few weeks ago.  That said, as you all know I am really (really) impatient about everything, so I need to figure out how to get moving on this again.  I'm also reading Harry Potter in Spanish, which is a lot of fun ... and not as hard as I thought it would be.  It's funny because after about six months of full-time Spanish, I'm about at the point I was after 4+ years of French.

Anyhow, life is pretty good here in Donostia.  Happy thoughts are still welcome regarding the job market (especially since Peter and I have a new bargain where I am allowed 30 minutes of worrying a day, so I'll need you guys working overtime for me)!

Madrid Again (again)

Well, I'm back.  After a great two weeks in the states and a really rough morning in preparation to leave, it is 9 am in Madrid and 2 am in Chicago.  I didn't sleep on the plane, even though I shared a row of 4 seats with one other guy.  I was able to relax, but not to get any actual sleep. 

I did manage to get a lot of work done on my sweater I'm making.  I had the back almost done but put it in my checked baggage because I didn't want to have to take scissors which would be necessary for the final parts of the shoulders involving fastening off and rejoining the yarn.  So, I worked on the front instead.  I got basically two-thirds of the way done.  I'd like to finish it soon, to see if I'd like to make another for gifts etc.  The first sweater I ever made turned out to be a bit of a disaster (the yarn was really gross, in retrospect, which didn't help with the sweater0.  I've also discovered how to make center pull yarn balls which are great for flying since my yarn basically stays put. 

I also listened to a couple of podcasts on the flight and started a movie on my computer when they started the second movie on the plane.  Normally, the second movie on Iberia flights is awful (usually gross nature documentaries with sharks tearing each other apart), but today it was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II.  Which I had not yet seen since they only showed it in the dubbed theatres here.  So it was an okay flight.  I actually wasn't feeling too exhausted 'til I sat down now.  Fortunately, my flight is about an hour and a half earlier than normal, cutting my normal 4+ hour layover to less than 2 (especially since our flight landed late today).  Unfortunately, I will almost certainly miss the bus from Bilbao to Donostia immediately after my flight - unless a miracle occurs, which I'm not counting on.  If I miss it, I'll just hang out at the cafe in the airport 'til the next one comes an hour later.

I was sort of smug before leaving about how brave I would be about coming back this time.  That was, apparently, a huge lie.  I was a big baby.  For the past few days I've been weepy on and off at the thought of coming back. Then yesterday, I started in giant baby mode for real.  Today, all bets were off.  I woke up crying and basically didn't stop until I was boarding my plane.  This is a small exaggeration, but only a small one.  Here are the facts, though:  I love my husband.  I love living in the same place as him.  Living an ocean apart doesn't get easier.  It gets harder.  I am mostly okay and not weepy about it, but it doesn't make it easier.  I know it's temporary and some day I will be living in the same house (or at least on the same continent) as him.  But.  This will happen much more quickly if I get a job on the terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad academic market this year.  About half of my applications are in, with the rest on my agenda for this week.  I'm starting to feel like I MUST, MUST get a job this year.  Therefore, I need all of the prayers, thoughts, rain dances, good vibes sending possible for the next few months.  I have a trip to the US booked in March, and I'm hoping and praying that I have an interview or two to attend then.  I would love to come back to walk at graduation next June and be able to stay home.  Or at least not come back to Spain.  So, whenever you have a few minutes, good thoughts and prayers are greatly, greatly, greatly appreciated.

On the plus side of coming back, I've had more Hilarious Interactions with Americans.  The most recent one occurring on the train today between terminals in the airport.  This marks the second consecutive time I've been in the Madrid airport and had both my Spanish and English skills complimented within 5 minutes of each other.  After giving them directions, the American family behind me commented that my English was "almost perfect!"  I wonder if the "almost" was due to jet lag on either of our parts.

Going back again ...

On the plane at O'Hare waiting for take off. Expect a slightly loopy blog update from Madrid in 8 or 9 hours.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Access Rd,Chicago,United States

In Madrid again

I'm in Madrid after a super easy flight from Bilbao. I really couldn't believe it when we started our decent. The flight is an hour long but it really felt like 15 minutes. Part of the reason it went by so quickly is because I'm sort of stupid. I've been working on this crocheted sweater for the past few days, and I was finishing a big section. I counted my stitches and I was 4 off. I realized right away where the problem was -- 20 lines down. So I spent the first 10-20 minutes of the flight tearing out the 20 rows and basically starting the sweater from scratch. Maybe not from scratch, but from line 5. I was about half done with the back when I found my mistake, so now I'm counting like a fiend. I managed to catch back up to row 12, so hopefully in another hour or two I will be back where I started.

I'm amazed how good my American vs European radar has become. A woman came up to me to ask a question about my iPad and I answered her in English. She was really surprised I could tell she was American and wanted to know how I figured it out. I think because I see relatively few Americans now, I can spot them as soon as I see them.

I am really hoping for a smooth and easy flight. Last time I checked, I had a whole row to myself, so I'm crossing my fingers for good luck again! It's a little hard to believe I have less than 48 hours after landing before I have another flight. The flight to Seattle is about half as long as the one from here to Chicago, but spending so much time in airports and on planes isn't my favorite pastime. Fortunately, Pete will be with me for the seattle flight so hopefully it will be more fun than traveling alone!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Madrid,Spain

How I know I live here now ...

Two posts in one day!  What a miracle.

I realized today walking to meet some friends that I really live here now.  I know I've said that a lot before, but it hit me especially today.  The past few weeks have been blissful in San Sebastian.  The weather is colder, but still reaches 65-70 every day and cools down to be lovely and crisp (but not freezing) at night.  Perfect weather to have your window open at night and be able to hunker down under the duvet.  The change in temperature has also signaled a change in the town.

Tourists are gone and pintxos bars are full of locals and people who know how things work around here.  The mood is more relaxed and easy going.  People are talking about futbol and life instead of "la playa".  I know most people probably prefer the summer, but I like this time of year here.  The weather isn't as spectacular, but I sort of like the moodiness of the weather.  The change from warm to cool and the rainy days are somehow comforting.

But this weekend is different.  Tuesday is All Saints Day in all of Spain and in France.  Since everyone has Tuesday off (really everyone - everything is closed, like usually for a holiday), most people are also taking "el puente", the bridge.  This means they take Monday off and get a great long weekend.

*** Side Note *** For those of you keeping track, we also had a holiday last Tuesday and then two weeks ago on Wednesday.  And then we have holidays on December 6 and 8, too.  They love holidays here.  Back to the story.

Because it's a holiday here, throughout Spain and in France it means they're back.  The tourists, that is.  They've overrun the town and are making me crazy.  I walked to meet some friends today, and had to weave through lost tourists to meet them in time.  I suddenly felt like I was back in Chicago weaving among the hoards near Wrigley.  I also got really annoyed by the street performers who are WAY more terrifying than street performers in the US.  The guys today where three people dressed up in these huge scary wolf/dog metal skeleton costumes with scary sharp teeth and light up eyes.  It was scary for an adult, but parents were taking their kids to see it.

Anyhow, I guess I am becoming a local, because we headed to a cafe that is completely free of tourists and relaxed there for a while before heading back into the throngs.

Travel

The time before traveling is always insane, but adding travel to the insanity of the past two weeks ... I'm feeling like a crazy person.  Plus, I am traveling to Chicago and Seattle (where it's colder than it is here).  Most of my cold weather clothing is still in Chicago (I think), but since I'm traveling for a conference, I feel like I need to pack enough options for conferencing in case stuff in Chicago doesn't fit. Plus, I'm bringing back summer clothes that I didn't wear here (if I didn't wear them at all for the last 6 months, I won't miss them if I'm still here next summer), and clothes that don't fit anymore.   Then I'm packing a couple of sweaters, a couple of pairs of pants and calling it a day.  Hopefully, I can "shop" my closet in Chicago and find stuff to wear while I'm there and bring back here.  Otherwise, I'll just have to shop in actual stores at home and back here.

I'm hoping this trip won't be as ridiculously emotional as they usually are.  I have hopes for this for two reasons.  One is that I am WAY more exhausted leading up to this trip and have been swamped with work, which has given me less time to get super excited for the trip.  (Not that I'm not super excited, it's just not heightened to the same degree).  The other is that I saw Pete less than a month ago, and I'll see him again about 5 weeks after I leave to come back ... so the time doesn't feel so interminable.  I'm pretty sure on Nov 13 you'll still be able to find me sobbing in a bathroom stall at O'Hare, but hopefully it won't be as bad as it has been before.

I finished teaching on Friday.  The class was rewarding and hard, mostly due to the fact that most of my students were non-native English speakers.  There was a huge amount of variability in terms of English ability and prior knowledge about the subject, which made things extra tricky.  I was supposed to teach my last class Monday right before heading to Bilbao for the night, but for various reasons the class got moved, so I taught 4 classes in 4 work days last week.  Planning and executing this class really took it out of me, mostly because it coincided with pre-conference prep, an influx of pilot data for a study I'm running, job application due dates and planning some research projects I'm getting excited about.  Plus, I had to teach some "lab" stuff I hadn't planned on using a computer programmer I have a love-hate relationship with.  So more than 20 hours in the classroom, plus 2 hours of prep for every hour I taught added up to 60 hours over two weeks on top of my normal 40+ hour/week job.  I was ready for a nap after my last class.  :)

Of course, teaching is the gift that keeps on giving.  I have to write the exam my students are taking this week, plus give them feedback on the assignments the two assignments they've done.  Then when I get back from the US I'll have another lab assignment and an exam to grade.  But hopefully by then the rest of my job will have slowed down a little bit.

In other news, I've got some new crochet projects in the works, since I was getting a little bored with my giant square blanket project (which is probably 2/3rds done).  Hopefully doing a couple of smaller projects over the next few weeks will bring back my desire to work on the blanket when I come back.  I'm working on a sweater in a really beautiful light blue cotton which will be my plane project on the way home on Tuesday.  I'm also working on two different scarves (one knit and one crochet) in the same pretty merino wool.  I made Pete a scarf, which was sent home with him when he came in September, and I made some flower coasters from scrap yarn for a friend's birthday.  I'm most excited because I've taught myself Tunisian crochet, which is a cool mix between crochet and knitting and produces a fabric that looks knit or woven.  I'm working on a pillow that has two different sides.  It's a little slower than knitting or crocheting for me, mostly because it's dissimilar enough from each of them that figuring out the hand motion is a little less automatic.  But I try to knit and crochet a little bit each day (often on the bus).  Since I'm not huge into Spanish TV, it's a good way to relax and do something that's not either Spanish practice or work!

I'll try to update again before I leave!

Something that's not easy

Here's something that's not easy:

Taking a Basque class ...

That is taught in Spanish.

Taking a Spanish class in Spanish is hard enough, but taking a Basque class too?  I'm starting to think I'm crazy.  Fortunately, it's once a week.  And, as my Spanish teacher says, I should just think of it as a chance to practice Spanish even more.

As of now, though, I'm exhausted.  Between teaching my class, doing the rest of my 50+ hour a week job, taking Spanish classes two nights a week, doing two intercambios a week, and now the two hours of Basque class, I am starting to get a little overwhelmed.  My allergies are also insane, so taking allergy medicine isn't helping with the exhaustion.  I am ready for this weekend, when I can sleep in ... and catch up on work. :)

Insanity

Work (and life) is a bit crazy right now, so just a brief update.

• I started teaching today.  It was good, though I'm completely exhausted.  The class is really hard for me to teach since it's material that most of the students know (in Spanish), but haven't been exposed to in this setting.  It's a big challenge but probably good for me in the long run.

• I really, really love walking across the river on one of the bridges at night here.  It's always very cool to see the flow of the river collide with the waves from the ocean and it always looks completely chaotic and beautiful below.  

• In awesome news, I dropped my iPod in the toilet at my Spanish class today. Not my finest move.  That's what I get for not zipping my jacket pockets. We sanitized it and it seems to be functioning.  Fingers crossed!

• My intercambio partner said today that my Spanish is improving.  Hopefully that's true because I'm working my tail off on learning more every day.  I practice a lot, and it continues to feel really hard.  That said, I think that's because I "know" more grammar, so I'm trying to remember when to use the subjunctive and when to use each of the three past tenses.  It's so much more complicated than English in terms of verbs, I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes.  I get frustrated because I know how to conjugate the verbs and when to use which.  In writing, I'm usually okay and can write a page or two with only a couple of minor verb mistakes (prepositions and articles are another story all together).  But speaking is still rough.  That said, I'm trying to be braver and just talk.  My daily mix of English and Spanish when socializing is edging toward 50-50, which is great.  I'm still in the B1 level, but I still hope to get to C1 by spring.  I think it's doable since I'm working hard, but we'll see.

• In what is either an insane or genius move, I'm starting a Basque class on Thursday.  It is, as my teacher said "muy light" (apparently that's the Spanish term for not too intense as well ...).  It's one day a week for two hours.  I'm not sure I need another evening eaten up by a language class, but I think it will be a really great experience.  Plus, I think linguistics departments will be happy I know a little bit of an "under-studied language".  Speaking of linguistics departments ...

• It's job search time again.  I will need sustained good thoughts/vibes/prayers between now and the spring that something great will come along for me in the US.  I have my hopes on a couple of ideal jobs, but don't want to jinx anything.  Right now, I would settle for being on the same continent as Chicago.   I don't want to be too picky, but driving distance/same timezone would be incredible.  :) Anyhow, there are plenty of jobs and I'm hoping this is "my year".  If it's not, I'll survive, but I am hoping my hard work over the past 7.5 (11.5?  29?) years will pay off in this cycle. I'm ready to start independent research and I realized today, I'm ready to teach as well.  Anyhow.  Fingers crossed, thoughts, prayers and minor sacrifices to the Bosses of Jobs appreciated.

• Speaking of Jobs ... I was super sad to hear about Steve Jobs.  I grew up on a Mac and have been nothing but a Mac person my whole life.  I truly believe my research is significantly easier due to Macs, and they're so much more fun than PCs.  Pixar has made some of my favorite movies.  On top of being a real visionary and a rare breed person who can blend creativity and science, he also said something that I have printed out that follows my idea notebook for work (every time I finish one, it gets tucked into the next).  It's two sections from his 2005 commencement address to Stanford, which I really took to heart as I was in the early days of grad school "You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. ... Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." At the time I read this, I had made a big, big jump from music to science.  A jump I'm still not sure I knew how to make.  I wasn't nearly as terrified as I probably should have been.  This is most likely the result of having been too stupid to know what I didn't know.  But I did it, and I've never been happier.  He was right in that I knew what I loved when I found it.  I try to remind myself on days when I'm stressed and crazy that I truly believe that what I'm doing is great work because I love what I do.  I know not everyone in this world is lucky enough to say that, so every time I think of it, I say a little prayer of thanks because I have been really, truly, extraordinarily lucky to do what I do.  Even if I don't get a job doing this forever, it's great, exciting work.  Plus I get to say fancy things like "I am teaching in the Master's program for Cognitive Neuroscience of Language".  And it doesn't get much better than that.

Okay, enough sappiness, but I feel like I needed to have a little eulogy for someone who profoundly affected my life, even if I never knew him.

Pamplona and La Rioja

While Peter was here we spent a lot of time just hanging out in Donostia, eating pintxos, relaxing on the roof terrace, and drinking coffee (decaf) in the plazas.  But we did manage to do some sight seeing while he was here, too.

We took a spontaneous day trip to Pamplona, home of San Fermin (a.k.a. The Running of the Bulls).  We decided at around noon we wanted to go, but if we wanted to go that day, we would have to catch the 12:45 bus.  So, we grabbed some granola bars and made a run for it.  We spent about 7 hours in the town before heading back on the bus.  The town itself is very cute and old.  We got some advice from one of my co-workers who is from there about things to do and see.  It turned out to be great advice.  I'm pretty confident that we got to see the best and most beautiful landmarks.  We also had a great lunch and had coffee and a drink at a beautiful cafe before heading home.  Pete took pictures of a lot parts of the course of the running of the bulls, which were easy to imagine being full of people in the sticky heat of July here.

We also took another spontaneous trip, this time to La Rioja.  We decided the day we went to Pamplona (Tuesday) that we wanted to rent a car and go on either Wednesday or Thursday possibly staying overnight.  To be able to properly plan, we decided to go on Thursday and rented our car and booked a hotel in the small village of Casalarreina.  I contacted a bunch of wineries to try to schedule tastings or tours.  We got one tour on Thursday and another on Friday, as well as a tasting on Thursday.  We also managed to make it to Laguardia, a very cool medieval walled village in the region.  Our trip was particularly exciting because it was harvest time.  Every few miles we would come across a tractor with a trailer laden with grapes.  The vines were all heavy from the fruit, and it was really incredible to see wine country at this time of year.  The scenery in the area is also completely astounding.  One of the coolest parts of our visit was that on our Friday tour (at the winery with a hotel designed by Frank Gehry), we were able to taste the grapes as they sorted them.  It was very cool to taste the tempranillo grape and the cabernet sauvignon grape, as well as a white grape that wouldn't be used for wine.

Overall, Peter's trip here was fantastic.  We got to do some exploring and some relaxing, which was a nice combination.

Today has been weird because it sort of feels like things have reset after Peter left - sort of like he was never here at all and the week he was here was a weird dream or something.  I've had a hard time getting anything done today, but I have a pile of laundry that needs to be ironed as well as some work sitting on my table, so hopefully, I'll be able to motivate myself after a brief nap.

On the roller coaster again

I just spent an amazing week with Peter.  I will write more about it later including our trips to Pamplona and La Rioja and some of my new Spanish breakthroughs.  But, I just got back from taking him to the airport, and I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself and for him.  Leaving and being apart doesn't get any easier with time.  I know that this feeling of despair right now will eventually plateau to a point where I'm sad and lonely, but it doesn't overwhelm me.  Right now, though, it is overwhelming, exhausting and pretty terrible and makes me want to jump on the next plane to Chicago.  At least the time between visits now is the shortest yet.  23 days 'til our Chicago+Seattle visit.  Then I come back for about 5 weeks before Christmas. I don't want to think about the period after Christmas, where I only have one trip planned, and it's in March.  As I learned between mid July and late September October, 2 months is a long, un-fun time to be apart.

In the Netherlands

A quick update:  I made it safely to the Netherlands, where I spent my morning hunkered down in data analysis time.  I've rented a bike here to help get around more easily and had some exciting adventures carrying my duffle bag, my laptop, and my purse on the bike yesterday.  However, I (and my stuff) made to my gracious host's apartment in one piece!  More updates when I get back to SanSe on Saturday!!

Travel

I've decided I'm never going to be a great or stress-free traveler.

If I pack in advance and spend tons of time getting ready, I feel totally overwhelmed, pack and unpack half a dozen times, and still manage to simultaneously over- and under-pack, bringing too much extraneous stuff and not essentials.

If I wait until the day before to get things around, I also feel overwhelmed and rushed.

I leave tomorrow morning for 5 days to the Netherlands and the following things are stressing me out:

• I'm flying on this cheap-y discount airline called Vueling, and similar to a lot of American discount airlines they want to charge for everything from choosing your seat to checking luggage.  To encourage people to check their bags they have this incredibly stingy carry-on policy.  You get one bag at 21X16X8 inches (much smaller than your average carry-on) and then a "briefcase, purse, or camera."  I had planned on packing in this very cute Kate Spade small duffel bag I have.  Unfortunately, the bag is 19.5X14X8.8 inches (almost 1 inch bigger than the depth allowed by the airline ... so now I'm faced with a dilemma.  I'd really rather not check this bag as it is new, soft-sided, and adorable.  Plus, I'd rather be able to carry it on.  Since it is soft-sided, there's a chance I could just not pack it super full and hope that it fits.  I'd also rather not find out at the airport that I need to check it because it costs 20 euro to check at the gate and only 8 or so to check online.  Plus, I'd rather not try to get everything in a tiny bag that goes over my shoulder, if I'm going to end up checking anyhow, and could have a more convenient wheeled bag.  So, do I take the chance that I might be able to carry it on?  Or do I make the call now to just check a bag?
• In a similar, is this risk worth it vein - I have to take the bus from Donostia to Bilbao airport tomorrow.  The buses leave every hour on the hour and arrive in Bilbao at :15 past.  My flight leaves at 10:25, so taking the 8 am bus, and getting in at 9:15 SHOULD be okay, since Bilbao is so small ... but if I have any hassle with security, or need to check my bag, it might be tight.  The problem is my other option is taking the 7 am bus which will get me in at 8:15 (2+ hours before my flight), and requires me to leave my house at 6:20 to get to the bus station to get my tickets.  Which seems pretty awful.  But what would be more awful than leaving my house at 6:20 would be missing my stupid flight because the next flight to Amsterdam?  Thursday morning.  The workshop starts on Thursday morning, so that would not be fantastic.

I'm not much of a risk taker, so I'm tempted to just check my bag and take the earlier bus.  But I'm also not much of a morning person, and I purposely GOT this bag as a little carry-on for these sorts of flights. 

Hopefully, I can decide tonight and have a stress-free morning tomorrow, and a low-stress travel day!!

Breakthrough

Apologies for the silence recently.  I had visitors after my trip to Paris and then have been swamped catching up with work.

Things here are mostly great:

- I feel like my Spanish has made a huge breakthrough since my return from France.  The day I got back I started my new group Spanish class, which has been really good.  I've been in Spain for the least amount of time of anyone in the class and have been studying Spanish for the least amount of time as well, but am not so far behind.  I also started two intercambios (language exchanges), which have been really helpful.  Even though I still make tons and tons of mistakes, I can hold my own in conversations in Spanish for about an hour at a time.  It's still completely exhausting, and I'm sure I'll hit more walls as I continue to learn, but there's been a huge leap.

- One sign of that leap is that people tend not to switch to English as much with me when I'm ordering, etc. It still happens sometimes, particularly if I'm with someone who clearly doesn't understand Spanish, but mostly I can function in Spanish if necessary.

- A second sign of that leap is that I've been asked on several occasions now to order for other Americans or Brits in bars.  Recently, we were at a bar and a guy asked if I spoke English and then asked me for food recommendations.  I told him and as he tried to order, the waiter clearly didn't understand him.  The waiter looked at me as if to say "help?  Please?" So, I rattled off the order.  It was a pretty great feeling because I think even 2 weeks ago I wouldn't have been brave enough to do it!

- At that same bar, I had my first non-service oriented conversation with Spanish strangers.  These two guys thought it was hysterical that the bartender kept calling me "Señora."  To be fair, the guy was probably 18 years old, so I probably did look really old to him.  Anyhow, the guys were asking me (in Spanish) why he was calling me "señora".  We had a nice back and forth about how I might look young but I'm actually an old married lady (a phrase that apparently works in translation).

I am so, so happy about these developments.  I don't know what caused the leap, but I think having to be brave with French, a language that feels easier and more familiar, while I was traveling made me a little braver.

I head to Holland next week for a few days to attend a workshop.  I'm really excited about the workshop and about catching up with some friends there.  I'm hoping to talk to some people about my work to get some ideas for how to spin my work.  Hopefully, it will be great.

In other news, being abroad for the 10th anniversary of September 11th because the news coverage is so detached.  While Spain is more empathetic than a lot of countries due to their train bombings in Madrid in 2004, it was strange to be in a place where it didn't dominate the news coverage.  FC Barcelona had just been here to play Real Sociedad and the game ended in a draw, which was much bigger news than anniversary memorials.  I did take some time to reflect on being in Boston that day, which was the origin of two of the flights - everyone was so worried that those were flights that carried their friends or family - many worried with good reason.  I remember lots of fighter jets flying around the city and a lot of uncertainty, largely because all of the cell phone lines (and many other forms of media) were jammed, so news was slow coming in.  BU continued to have class that day, which a lot of people criticized that day (and continue to criticized), but I appreciated because it gave us SOMETHING to do other than sit, transfixed by the news (there was plenty of that too ...).  Anyhow, I'm sure there's more I could say about that day and the 10 years since... I'm sure that's true for everyone.  In some ways, I was glad to be here where it wasn't the focus of the entire day, but was still glad to take some time to remember how much everything changed that day.

In addition to being pensive about that, I'm sort of tired of living away from Pete.  I cannot wait for him to come here in a couple of weeks, but I'm ready to live in the same place again.  So, fingers crossed for the job market to fall on my side this year.  I have a list of about 20 jobs in the US that I'll apply to this year (which may grow as jobs continue to be posted).  If I don't get anything from the tenure track market, there will be some big decisions to be made in late-winter/early-spring, but I'm trying not to worry about them now.

I'm hoping to enjoy some of the big film festival happening this weekend.  I have tickets to two movies on Saturday, but wasn't able to get tickets to some other shows I was hoping to see.  Hopefully, it will be a lot of fun.  I'm hoping to catch a glimpse of Penelope Cruz (though I work with a woman who looks uncannily like her) or Javier Bardem, who often attend the festival.  Part of me is ready for the weekend ... but another part is worried about a one day work week here next week!  I'm sure I'll feel really behind, but hopefully really invigorated on my return!

Traveling

I am at the airport in Paris, waiting for my flight to Biarritz. I got to the airport too early, probably, but it is worth not having to run around like a crazy person in an airport I don't know.

Overall, I had a great time in Paris. The city is great for wandering (which I did yesterday morning by myself and most evenings with my friends). Going back to San Sebastian is sort of bittersweet. I am mostly happy to be going back to my apartment with my bed (sleeping on a couch for 5 nights didn't make my body too happy) and to be cooking for myself (or at least eating pintxos). I'm also feeling reinvigorated for work and am ready to be back in the office tomorrow. I'm also sort of sad though because I'm going "home" but home isn't Chicago, which is where I usually get to go after a conference. It is sort of weird and lonely to go from traveling for a conference to being "home" by myself.

The good thing is I am moving into a time where I will get to see Pete more over the next 3-4 months than I have in the previous 5 or so months. He will be in Spain three weeks from Thursday. Then after he leaves, I will be home (and with him in seattle) less than a month after that. Then it's about 6 weeks til Christmas. So it's all much, much more manageable than the most recent huge break between my trip in July and his upcoming trip here.

I'm still working on not wishing away the time I had here. Upon my return today, I am kicking my Spanish into high gear with several hours of Spanish classes per week and the start of an intercambio or two (where I practice Spanish and English with a native Spanish speaker). Work is also kicking into high gear as subjects start returning for our experiments next week! Very exciting! More when I'm back in Spain!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Avenue Ouest,Paray-Vieille-Poste,France

Maybe I should have taken Spanish in high school ...

Being in France is a little easier than I expected. I've managed to have conversations in Spanish this morning at the bus station and ticket stand. I acutally talked to a Spanish family about whether this bus was going to the airport, which I survived. I also knew where to go to buy tickets in the office and helped two ladies who were waiting at the wrong window.

But then, I got to France and was able to check in my bags, buy a snack, etc. All in French. Even though vocabulary is hard right now, French is so much easier because I have so, so much more experience with it. The equivalent of 5 years of classes in high school, and many French classes in college mean that it comes back more quickly. I don't even want to dream about how much easier things would be in Spain had I put time into Spanish instead of French. Instead, I will enjoy a few days of brushing up on French, and hanging out in Paris! I am going through the tiny security desk here at Biarritz soon! I will check in later in the week!

Things I have in common with Mayor Bloomberg

We both try to speak Spanish with varying degrees of success.

Language Log summarized via video some of his Spanish attempts during the preparations for hurricane Irene this weekend:  http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3399

And if you haven't seen it, he's been satirized on Twitter as El Bloombito.  http://twitter.com/#!/ElBloombito

I think my Spanish is better than his, but I do empathize with him.  Speaking another language and sounding like an idiot isn't an easy thing to do.  I do it every day here, but (fortunately) not in front of millions of people on TV.

Going to Paris

Tomorrow I go to Paris for about 5 days for a conference.  I'm in my usual pre-travel craziness, but I have to keep reminding myself that this time a trip to Paris isn't a 9 hour flight across the ocean.  Instead, it's a forty minute bus ride to Biarritz (in the south of France) and then an 80 minute flight to Paris.  Much easier!

I've made the (unfortunate) decision to try to practice a bit of French before I go.  Which means my constant confusion of French and Spanish in full force.  I have a Spanish class this evening, so it's sure to be full of mistakes.  I'm sure Parisians will think I'm nuts because I'll be an American speaking a crazy French/Spanish blend.  I have a little audio book that reviews a bunch of basic French phrases, so I'll listen to it a couple of times on the flight and on my bus ride tomorrow.

Spanish classes are going well.  I went out for dinner with some friends last night (Countries of origin:  England (2), Ireland, Italy, Venezuela, France, Spain).  Our conversation shifted from English to Spanish and back throughout the night.  I was sort of surprised because listening to two of my friends whose Spanish I always thought was quite good, I noticed grammar mistakes and weird turns of phrase and thought to myself, "I can speak that well, too!"  So, I've decided to be less intimidated and try more.  I've been harassing waiters and store clerks to tell me what things are or how to say things in Spanish.  If a waiter speaks to me in English, I speak back in Spanish and ask a ton of questions.  I moved to a new level of Spanish last week (according to the CEFR scale: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_European_Framework_of_Reference_for_Languages).  I'm hoping that I can get through C1 (advanced, just below fluent) by next spring.  I think it will be possible if I keep practicing.  We'll see, I guess!  In the mean time, I'm working hard on my bravery and not confusing French and Spanish over the next few days!  I'll try to update from France, but if not - see you next Monday!!

Getting more Spanish ...

This time it's not the language I'm talking about, but the ways I'm starting to act like (or at least understand) the Spanish.

My relationship with time, food and sleep have all changed in Spanish ways, but the most obvious way I've become more Spanish is in greetings, which I'm sure I've talked about before.  In Spain, you greet everyone with "besos" - one kiss per cheek.  You say goodbye the same way.  You meet someone for the first time?  Besos.  You run into your best friend on the street?  Besos.  Now, I feel like it is completely natural to meet people and it's besos all around. In fact, when I see people on American TV greet each other with one kiss, it seems very strange.

It's also nice because I think it fosters a feeling of being close to people right away.  Rather than shaking hands, or waving hello, people actually take the time to meet and greet every individual in a group.  This is one of my new favorite things about life becoming more Spanish!

Weary

I have a post part way written about Semana Grande last week and another one part way written about other ways in which I'm acclimating to Spanish life.

But I have been tired lately and sleeping poorly and am feeling rather weary as a result, which means no entertaining (or at least coherent) posts today. Instead I will just reiterate that I'm looking forward to the following things:

Paris in 10 days! Followed by a visitor here!  Followed by a little weekend jaunt to the Netherlands!  Followed by Pete visiting!

I'm also looking forward to this weekend being tourist-lite compared to the absolute insanity of the last week (imagine post-Cubs game pedestrian traffic right around Wrigley, but spread it out over the entire city and make it last for 8 straight days).

More stories from Spain soon!

Well ...

I was just sitting in my apartment reading a wikipedia entry when I realized I was reading in Spainsh.  That's the first time I've read Spanish without thinking "oh man, I'm reading Spanish now."  It happens a lot when I'm listening to Spanish, mostly because hearing what people say is sort of impossible to avoid.  Maybe some day it'll happen to me when I'm speaking Spanish.

After I realized I was reading in Spanish, it sort of hit me.  I'm living in Spain.  Actually living in Spain!  And as hard as it can be, and as frustrated and lonely as I can get, this is my life right now.  Which is really crazy because I'm not sure it hit me until right now that ... I ACTUALLY LIVE IN SPAIN.

More tomorrow on fireworks, etc.

Fireworks

Saturday started Semana Grande here in San Sebastián and in Bilbao as well.  Basically, Semana Grande is   a typical Spanish fiesta.  Food stands, drink, live music, carnival games and rides and lots and lots of tourists.  A friend and I went down to Parte Vieja on Saturday night to meet another group of people.  After two pintxos bars we were done.  The crowds were totally insane, and a girl in our group had her wallet pick-pocketed.  Lesson learned - in large crowds do not (a) have an open purse, (b) keep your wallet near the top of this open purse, and (c) keep your purse swung around behind your back where you can't see when someone reaches their hand into it.  I had purposely brought a closed purse that you have to lift the flap up to open.  I also tend to bury my wallet in the middle of my bag so anyone who reaches into it has to sort through about a billion other things to find it.  Anyhow, I had been out the night before as well, so we decided to head back to our apartment building.

Sounds like it was a bit of a bust, huh?  However, Semana Grande also comes with the international fireworks festival.  Every night a different group does a fireworks display.  The hill leading up to our building happens to have an awesome view of the show about halfway up.  There was a large group of people gathered (though not nearly as large as those down below - it took us 3 times as long as normal to get out of Parte Vieja and El Centro toward our hill!), including some really cute kids.  We watched the 30 minute show, enjoying our break from our climb up the hill and enjoying the kids reactions.  One little girl narrated the whole show "ROJO!  COLORES!!  AZUL!! (Red! Colors! Blue!"  Etcetera.  Then with glee, as the fireworks started forming shapes "CORAZONES!! (Hearts!)"  And finally my favorite:  "ESMAILIS!" (Smiley faces!)

Last night I didn't want to brave the crowds down below so I opted to go to the roof of our building with a girl I work with who lives here and a glass of red wine.  Last night's display was one of the coolest fireworks displays I've ever seen.  Really beautifully choreographed with fireworks at different heights from close to the bay to very very high up.  Lots of cool color combinations, and a finish that I can't even start to describe, but was the coolest, most unique finish to a fireworks show I've ever seen.  I'm planning on spending 30 minutes on the roof for the next few nights to watch the rest of the shows.

**WARNING: RANT AHEAD**

Oh lord ... I normally HATE dealing with customer service anywhere, but dealing with American customer service while in Europe is a particular nightmare.  I've had to call customer service a few dozen times since coming here due to various travel snafus, financial issues, and phone problems.  In terms of companies who I called the American number for they rank like this:

Best - Iberia
Good - American Airlines
Not terrible - American Express, Holiday Inn Express, Air France
Horrible - Verizon Wireless
I would rather do almost anything than ever have to deal with these terrible, horrible people again - Capital One

There are a few things to note about this list.

First:  Iberia is rarely first at anything, especially when it comes to customer service.  Their overseas flights are usually not so plush as American Airlines (and other airlines) flights, with crummy customer service, a few tiny tvs around the cabin for movies, and terrible food.  BUT, I called them and in <30 seconds I was talking to a real human.  In less than 3 minutes on the phone, they fixed my problem AND sent me an e-mail to confirm it before we even hung up.  So, I'm probably the first person in the world to rank Iberia first in customer service, but it was a truly easy phone call and didn't stress me out at all.

Second:  Verizon gets a terrible ranking for lying to me repeatedly on the phone.  If they weren't the only company with any service in Chesaning, I'd probably switch to something else.  For now, I suffer without a US cell phone.

Third:  Capital One customer "service" is useless.  A bit of a back story.  Capital One is the only credit card company that does not charge international transaction fees.  They also give you miles for each transaction that you can use to pay for travel.  So.  I was thinking "fantastic!  Two birds - one stone!  I'm getting a Capital One card".  For the first two months I was here, the card worked fine.  Then it started acting up, so I called and they said I needed to put a travel authorization on the card.  Fantastic.  I did that.  Then I bought a song on iTunes and BAM!  The card doesn't work.  So I called them back and they reinstated my travel authorization.  This worked more or less 'til I got back from the US.  My card was suddenly declined ALL THE DAMN TIME.  Every store I tried to use it in "declined."  I had no idea why this was happening as I paid my bill on time every month, so it should be just fine.  Turns out, Capital One also has no idea why it's happening.  I've talked to them four times in less than 2 weeks and they have been completely and totally useless.

"Oh, we don't see any declined transactions.  It must be the computer of the store you're in."  Or not, since my Spanish debit card works.  Other people's credit cards work.  Just mine isn't working.

"Oh what error message are you getting."  Well, I'm not Spanish, so I can't really tell what it's saying on the screens, but in the past two weeks I have learned the words for 'declined' and 'denied.'

The latest?  The best today?

Capital One:  Okay, here's my solution.  Go use the card right now and call me back while you're using it.  Me:  I don't think that will work, unless you are going to pay the credit card fees for me calling the US from my Spanish cell phone
Capital One: How are you calling now?
Me:  From my computer as I told you at the beginning of this conversation.
Capital One:  Can you take your computer to with you and call from that
Me:  Uh, to the grocery store?  At 10:00 pm?  In Spain?  No.  I can't.
Capital One:  How about calling collect?  You can probably do that from your cell phone.
(Sure, my carrier will still charge me exorbitant fees for calling the US).
Me:  No.  That isn't going to work.  How about you figure out what is causing this problem and try to fix it now on the phone with me.
Capital One:  I'm sorry ma'am but I don't see any problem on my end.  This really isn't Capital One's fault.

Sure sure.  My card hasn't worked in any store in WEEKS and it's not Capital One's fault.  The very best part of this conversation was when the customer service rep returned to his script and we had the following conversation:
Capital One:  Okay, I'm sorry for any inconvenience you have experienced.  Have I solved all of your problems you called about today?
Me:  No.
Capital One:  What could I have done to make this conversation better?
Me:  Helped me at all with the problem I've been having for two weeks and have called four times about.
Capital One:  That feedback is very useful for us.  Thank you for calling Capital One.  I hope we solved the problems you called about.

Ugh.

Clearing the clouds

Yesterday was inexplicably hard.  Waking up was hard and my bed was much, much more comfortable than the thought of getting out of bed and starting yet another day here.  I walked to work from the bus stop in the rain which did nothing to improve my already sour mood.  Work was fine, but quiet as always here, which means I don't have a lot of human interaction during my day.  I went back to my apartment, and felt really, really cranky and frustrated.  I managed to try a new recipe last night which turned out okay (not fantastic, but better than edible), but I was feeling frustrated about work possibilities in the future ... and honestly, I was just tired of being here and being away from Pete.  Yesterday was primarily cloudy and gross.  Things aren't shiny and new anymore which means less excitement in every day.  I have a routine and I actually LIVE here.  I see now why most people in college study abroad for one semester.  Typically, a semester is about 3 or 4 months.  That period of time is enough that you can get the experience of living in a new place, without the shine wearing off.

Even though things were way, way scarier (and in a lot of ways harder) when I first moved here, they were also new.  I was learning in leaps and bounds in Spanish, starting new projects that were exciting, learning to live in a new place, being able to explore every day.

But now.  

I get more and more frustrated by the same stupid mistakes I make in Spanish (I swear I know the difference between imperfecto and indefenido tenses, but I perpetually confuse them when I'm telling a story orally).  The new projects aren't so new anymore and are in the slogging state, where you just need to do a billion different things before you get any results.  And living here is becoming like living anywhere else.  A mix of good and bad things, but routine.

So, I'm continuing my attempts at shaking things up a little.  I have Spanish class tonight and then I'm joining my friends for a quick drink and a pintxo.  Then tomorrow there is an outing with the school where I take Spanish for pintxos.  So, I'm going there too.  Then more Spanish on Thursday and Friday.  Hopefully, the more I practice the easier the whole actually speaking Spanish part will get.  As my teacher says "poco a poco."  I'm trying to make a conscious effort to do more exercise besides my usual tons of walking.  I know Pilates will make me feel better, so I'm working on doing that at least 3-4 times a week with a bit of yoga thrown in.  Between the Pilates mat and the set of small hand weights I've procured, I can at least be in great shape when I go back to the US again in a few months. :)  

I'm not sure I've mentioned here, but between the walking up and down hills (mountains) all the damn time and eating well (though boringly), I've managed to lose quite a bit of weight being here.  Almost all of my pants/shorts/skirts are too big now (besides those which I purchased on my most recent trip home).  My dress for Molly's wedding was about 3 inches longer than it should have been because I'd lost weight - the corset back saved the day with the rest of the dress fitting as it should.  I'm guessing November and December trips to the US will include small shopping sprees. 

Anyway.  I woke up today feeling better.  This morning was cloudy and I thought it might rain on my way to work.  Instead, the clouds started clearing.  I feel better in part, I think, because before I fell asleep last night, I was reflecting on life here.  Even though I have hard days where I'm frustrated and tired of being here, I also have good days.  Great days even.  And even more than having good or great days, I look at how much progress I've made since coming here (especially in Spanish) and how much I've changed (in good ways), I'm very happy overall with my choice to come here.  Even without the good professional aspect, living in Spain has made me slow down, relax and be more patient with other people and with myself, which are all great accomplishments for me.

Don't drink the sangria

So last night was a co-worker's birthday, and like any event here, this means pintxos!

We went to two of my favorite pintxos bars and then one of my favorite cafes.  At the first cafe, there was a group of American women who made two rookie mistakes that made it clear to everyone that (a) they were not from around these parts and (b) obviously haven't taken the time to read a guidebook/website/anything about the culture and the customs around here (besides "these are good pintxos bars to go to).

So let me set the scene for you.  This particular bar is one of our favorite places because they have a huge terrace on one of the big plazas in the old part of town.  Inside, the bar itself is quite large, and always packed.  I think there are a couple of picnic-style tables in the back (though I think they're for raciones only - the larger plates), but the rest of the "tables" are tiny little shelfs jutting off the walls and, if you're really lucky, a wine barrel.  So, we managed to grab a wine barrel when we got in, and the tourists were at the barrel next to us.  The traditional thing to do at pintxos bars in the Basque Country and (tapas bars in Spain in general) is to have 1-2 pintxos each at a bar, a small glass of wine/beer/cider with your food, and then move on to another place.  These Americans ordered 18 pintxos to split between the three of them (ordering them all at once, which mean they all came out at once).  They also ordered directly form the bar instead of any of the hot pintxos off the blackboards.  (More about the blackboard vs. bar pintxos soon ... as well as learning what the best pintxos are at each place.)  But, in addition to this, they made the biggest mistake you can make in northern Spain.  They ordered sangria.

So I know everyone in the US has this idea of Spanish food and drink from tapas restaurants and tv shows.  In a tapas restaurant, you order the tapas for the table, typically all at once, and then the restaurant paces out what they bring to you, so you get a little bit for sharing at a time.  Plus, you order a huge pitcher of sangria, that's what they drink in Spain, right?

No.

In Spain, especially in northern Spain, you might drink homemade sangria at home, but when you go out you get wine, beer, cider, or a soft drink (grape juice, soda, etc.).  Never sangria.  You can tell that you never get sangria here because when someone does order sangria, they fancy it up by putting brightly colored straws and umbrellas in it, as if a neon warning sign to the other patrons "THESE ARE TOURISTS.  THEY WILL ASK YOU TO TAKE THEIR PICTURE AND NOT UNDERSTAND HOW WE SHARE SPACE IN PINTXOS BARS."  The other major no-no is ordering so much food at once.  First of all, I can't imagine any self-respecting Spaniard eating more than 1 or 2 pintxos per bar before moving on.  And even if you wanted more, you don't have room on a wine barrel table for 18 different tiny plates.

It didn't help that these girls were obnoxious and the sorts of tourists who make you want to punch them in the head because they are so insistent on NOT learning anything about the culture before they come, expect everyone to speak to them in English, etc.  One girl actually said "I feel like they should let visitors reserve these tables so they don't have to wait."  Or, princess, you could just do what everyone else who walks into this bar does.  Wait for a table.  Or stand and eat with your plate in your hand.  Just like the 80 year old couple behind you is doing right now, since you are standing at an empty table since you've finished your pintxos and are just sipping on your wine and standing around a table.

So lessons here:
1. Read about the culture before you go to a place
2. At least learn how to say "Do you speak English", "I don't speak X" and "Thank you" in the language of the culture you're going to
3. Don't drink the sangria.

Scattered

After a couple of days of strong focus, I'm now back to being sort of scattered.  I've been fighting off a cold and general malaise, so this weekend will be a good time to catch up (especially since two of my closest friends are out of town for the weekend).  There's some talk of going to Vittoria for a fiesta, but I'm not sure I'll go, especially if they end up staying overnight (yikes!).

I had my Spanish class yesterday, which was really, really good.  I'd forgotten a lot since my last class in mid-June, but not as much as I'd thought I had, and most of it came back really quickly yesterday.  I really want to focus on grammar, vocabulary and speaking in the class, since I need to be able to talk more easily (but hate making grammar mistakes!).  I wish I'd done this class a while ago, because it's really good practice for me to have to speak for a whole hour.  I'll decide in the fall if I'm going to continue, but I think I might, especially if the classes at work switch to only twice a week (and especially, especially if I'm in the lower of the two classes that are going to be happening at work)!

Today I have a lunch meeting downtown with a friend from work who is on maternity leave.  Then more Spanish class ... then (hopefully) a relaxing Friday evening!

Feeling at home(ish)

Well, it took me long enough, but I'm finally starting to be settled in.  I slept for 6.5 straight hours last night and woke up feeling really refreshed and great.  I think I was extra tired last night for two reasons.  I think I'm coming down with a cold (it seems to be going around here at work and everyone is sniffling and coughing).  I also went out with my Basque friend and some of her friends last night which meant all Spanish all the time for almost 4 hours.  I understood maybe 40% of the conversation, which was less than normal, but could be expected since half the conversation was about people's summer travel which involved lots of town names around here that I don't know yet.  Anyhow, we'll see how exhausted I am after my first proper Spanish class this evening!  I  came into work early so that I can leave around 5:15 to make it to my 6 o'clock class across town.  But I'm still feeling kind of sickly this afternoon, I may run home after lunch for a quick rest before class.  Since "after lunch" means 3pm, it's only a couple of hours off my day, and it will be worth it if it means not getting sick!

It's been funny because the shift in feeling better happened after Tuesday night when I took some visitors out for pintxos.  My friend Alison's husband's cousin and the cousin's husband recently moved from the US to Barcelona, where the husband is also a postdoc.  They were visiting San Sebastián for their vacation.  I took them out for a pintos and then to our favorite outdoor bar for a drink.  Then we headed out for music night.  Walking in and seeing my friends made me realize how lucky I am to have a group of people in my life who I truly enjoy being around.  This was also the first time that I knew more about this place than someone else.  So I knew where to go when my first choice of pintos bar was too crowded.  I knew the best place to go when we wanted to sit outside.  And I knew how to get everywhere.  I left that night feeling a lot better about being here, so it was definitely great to have that feeling.

In other great developments, I brought decaffeinated mint tea back with me from the US.  Decaffeinated tea just doesn't really exist here outside of black tea, which is fine, but requires more stuff to make it tasty for me.  Decaffeinated coffee exists mostly in powdered form ... if I can find it "de maquina" (by machine, or made like normal espresso), it's a miracle.  I can get "descafeinado con leche" from the vending machine upstairs and it's palatable but tiny and quite sweet.  I could also buy nespresso capsules for our coffee maker in the office here (we get a discount for buying in bulk since EVERYONE drinks this), but once again it's teeny tiny, and very sweet.  But mint tea!  It's a miracle!  After lunch, I make myself a cup and then a second  cup from the same tea leaves.  I'm going through it so quickly (even with two cups per bag and one bag a day) that I'm going to need my US visitors to bring reinforcements. :)

I can tell I'm getting more used to it here because I am now tempting fate with the busses.  It takes me a good 6 minutes to walk at a leisurely pace to the bus from my apartment including the elevator or stairs down (depending on my state of dishevelment upon leaving my apartment and whether I need to put my earrings on in the elevator or whether I can take the stairs).  The bus tracker here is highly accurate, so if I haven't packed up my computer, I have to pack it up when the bus tracker says 9 or 10 minutes 'til my bus arrives.  This period needs to be more like 12 minutes if I haven't packed my lunch and snacks yet.  14 if I don't have shoes on yet or I need to pack the rest of my work bag.  But for the past two mornings, I've been waiting 'til it says 7 minutes for my bus and then sprinting out the door, down the stairs, and up the hill and arriving at the stop as my bus pulls up.  From work, I need 10 minutes to walk (quickly) and 12 minutes for a leisurely walk to my stop, especially since my office is as far from the main doors to our office and the stairs out of the building.  Counting in packing up, I should leave when the bus tracker says I have 15 minutes (at the shortest).  Yesterday, it was 9 minutes, and I was basically running the whole way to the stop (in heels).  I've hopefully learned my lesson, since I like a leisurely stroll more than a sprint.  Though, it was good since I didn't feel like I needed to do any cardio yesterday after two sprints to the bus, a 45 minute walk to downtown, and then walking around for nearly 2 hours with the Spaniards!

Sleep

I managed to sleep for 6.5 (almost straight) hours last night, which is more than I've slept in a row since I got back.  I feel much more well-rested, but also more positive about life here in general.  It's really a miracle what sleep can do for me!

We've been having some crappy weather lately - warm and humid during the day, then cold and rainy in the evenings.  Basically, you need to have a sweater, a raincoat, and an umbrella with you at all times here, since you never know what the weather will be like.

Today has already been super productive at work, which will hopefully continue for the next 7 hour so hours!

Okay okay ...

So I've decided I need to cut my drama and be a grown up.  I spent some time looking at job postings today, so we'll see how that whole things go.

I also decided I needed to learn more Spanish, so I talked to my Spanish teacher about definitely taking 3 classes a week until September.  I'm feeling way better about that.  I also hung out with my friends tonight which was good and relaxing.  Unfortunately, I didn't make it through the day nap-less, but I'm still hoping I can sleep tonight.  We'll see!  More later.

Crabbiness

I've been in a funk since returning to Spain.  I'm still really messed up on sleep, which makes things worse than they really are, but I'm hoping to kick this grossness to the curb sooner than later.  As I said, my sleep has been totally wacky since I returned.  I typically can't sleep until 2 or 3 at night and am waking up several times throughout the night.  Last night I managed to fall asleep by about 1:30, but was up at 3, 4:30, and 6.   Even letting myself sleep in until 8:30, I slept no more than 6 hours last night, which is pretty typical for the last week.  A series of nighttime naps really isn't doing it for me, so I typically need a nap in the afternoon ... which probably causes the erratic nighttime sleeping.  I'm going to try to go without a nap today, but the amount of yawning I'm doing at 10 am doesn't bode well for this plan.

I've also been feeling sort of gross physically, which is probably also a consequence and cause of the weird sleep stuff.  I've been super congested with allergy grossness since returning.  My stomach is always sort of crabby after a long flight, but it's been worse and more prolonged than normal.  I go from not being hungry at all to being starving in a split second.  I know that when I get back on a more normal sleep schedule, this will all go back to normal.

The worst has been my funk over work and other things.  Because I am so, so tired due to the weird sleeping patterns, I have the attention span of a goldfish.  This means it's taking me twice as a long to get anything done, which meant working over the weekend. While I was working, I was crabby that I was doing that instead of going out exploring the city.

On a positive note, the weather has been beautiful for the past few days, which results in much less crabbiness than if it were rainy.  Unfortunately, I'm not a lay around on the beach sort of person (especially when it's windy and 70 degrees - I'm the person wearing a sweater outside because I'm cold, not laying in a bikini), so I'm not taking advantage of the weather as much as I should.  I did go for a long walk yesterday, and two long walks Saturday, which helped with the crabbiness (but not so much with the productivity)

Anyhow, I'm hoping a new week means less crabbiness and a happier more productive time for me.  I may be going to the Netherlands for a workshop in September that would mean all of my September weekends are now booked with travel or visitors.  That said, I'm happy for all of that business, since I get things done more easily with a full calendar than an empty one.

Back to data and writing for me - and no more complaining about being back (at least for a while!).

And the jet lag continues ...

I took a nap yesterday afternoon.  I only slept for an hour and a half, but I couldn't sleep until 3:30 last night ... I'm not sure what the deal is, but I'm super sleepy today, since I woke up at 6, 7, and 8, finally dragging myself out of bed at around 9.  I can't decide if I need a nap or if I should just tough it out until tonight.  I can't really concentrate being this sleepy, so I think a nap is going to win.  Plus, everyone is out of work today since it's summer and the nicest day in about 3 weeks here.

I'm still feeling really, really sad about leaving Chicago, which is no fun at all.  I know I need to just get over it and realize that I'll see friends from the US in Paris in about a month, Peter will be here in just over two months and I'll be back home in just over three months.  Good milestones ... and I know I'll survive, I'm just extra emotional since I'm super tired.

Tonight we're going to a jazz concert in the park near my apartment, which should be good.  I think we might go out for chalet afterward, which will save me from grocery shopping for another night.

Spanish seems simultaneously harder and easier now that I'm back.  I feel like I'm understanding more.  But I also feel like I can't say anything ... or when I do say something no one understands.  I'm working on it, and trying to be patient with myself.  I've only been here for 3 months, so I need to remind myself that I'm doing pretty well, all things considered!

In cooking news, I bought myself some casserole dishes to put in the oven!  And I have grand plans for some serious cooking.  I think part of the reason I get sad in the evenings by myself is that I'm not challenging myself.  The rest of the day, I challenge myself at work, or speaking Spanish when I'm out and about, but then I get back to my place and cook something super easy.  Then I get bored. And lonely.  No more of that!

I have a number of exciting crochet and knitting projects that I love - I'll update more as I work on them!

Jet lag is not my friend

Fortunately, I have plenty of friends here and have managed to settle back in pretty well.  I went out for some pintxos with one of my friends last night and then met some other friends at our weekly music night.  I left very, very early since I was totally exhausted.  I went back to my apartment and almost finished unpacking.    I fell asleep for a good two hours and then was wide, wide awake.  This is the worst part of jet lag for me - total exhaustion but the inability to sleep.  After years of fun times with insomnia, I have decent coping strategies.  I tend to get really stressed out staying in bed trying to make myself sleep, so I get up and walk around a little bit.  When I'm jet lagged (and not just normally struggling with insomnia) I also drink a ton of water every time I wake up, since I tend to be pretty dehydrated.  Unfortunately, lack of sleep and dehydration aren't my only jet lag issues.  I tend to also have stomach grossness (I'm never hungry and nothing tastes good) and I am usually really, really cold.  Apparently, body temperature also takes time to adjust with jet lag.  Add in the fact that it's been 65 degrees and rainy in San Sebastian, and I'm sitting in my office wearing to sweaters, long pants, and two pairs of socks.  I'm feeling totally unfocused, so I'm going to stop writing, grab lunch, and then head back to my apartment for a little nap.

A silver lining

Any of you who see me on Facebook know that I was less-than-pleased about my return to Spain.  I had a great, fantastic, magnificent, perfect (etc.) trip back to the US, and leaving was not something I was looking forward to.  At all. 

I had a truly terrible Monday, after a truly phenomenal Sunday/birthday.  I woke up and was immediately weepy, as I had been off and on for parts of the trip when I thought about going back to Spain.  But today (or is it yesterday? I can't keep track of time when I fly), it just didn't stop.  I felt really, really sad all day.  Totally forgot about errands I wanted to run while I was out running errands.  I would sit down and the cat would come up to my lap, and I'd just start sobbing.  Pete told me I was being hysterical.  And I was.  I was a huge baby about leaving our house, driving to the airport, leaving the car in the parking garage, saying goodbye before security. I pretty much cried for 3 hours straight.  I cried at the gate.  Sobbed in the bathroom.  You get the picture.  I cried on the plane at the beginning of the flight (we left over an hour late, and taxied on the runway for 45 minutes, so I was just itching to get off the plane).  But.

I had four seats to myself, so once the seatbelt sign was off, I took a quick catnap (less than 1 hour) before dinner was served.  Then, I ate dinner, and watched the movie.  During the movie, I was sitting in the second of my four seats with my legs stretched across the other three.  A lady came up and asked if she could sit in the other seat.  I told her sure, but made no offer to move.  I knew she wanted to stretch out over two seats, and by the looks of this woman, if I gave her two, she'd go for the third.  I was not going to be relegated to a single seat, when I purposely chose this aisle yesterday when I checked in because no one else was sitting in it.  I know it was totally selfish of me to keep all my seats, and if she had been nice rather than pushy, I would have happily given her two.  But I had a bad day. I was dehydrated from crying.  I was totally exhausted, and I planned on sleeping.  In a totally weird coincidence, as she was trying to make her push for more of my seats we hit the only 10 minutes of turbulence in our flight.  After about 3 minutes, she decided she couldn't sleep and went back up to the row she was sharing with her husband (they each already had two seats! So she was definitely pushing for 3 of mine).  We had 5 more minutes of bumps, the movie ended, and I stretched out across all four seats.  For the first hour or so, I dozed, listening to music and just trying to relax.  I first stretched out at around 4:30 and remember looking at my watch at 5:20.  The next thing I knew it was 7:15.  I woke up feeling pretty good.  I had breakfast, and we landed.

Then, I decided to splurge at the airport.  Madrid-Barajas, like all airports, has fancy-schmancy lounges you can go to if you are flying first class.  But, they also have a VIP lounge that you can pay to access.  The lounge has free snacks, drinks (alcoholic and non), tv, newspapers, magazines, and free internet.  So, I decided to pay up.  I figure I can easily spend the amount it cost to get in on internet access in the terminal and food and drink, plus here, there are actual chairs you can rest in (seating is lacking throughout the terminal).  Plus, I had a scheduled 4.5 hour layover (cut to just over 3 hours after our late arrival, going through immigration, transferring terminals, and going through security again).  It was totally worth it.  As was being selfish with my seats.  I am still really sad to have left Chicago, but I'm not as sad to be back in Spain. 

The thing is ... and I'm sure more will come on this later as I think about my trip back home ... everyone asked how Spain is.  And my stock answer was usually "good ... and hard ..."  And everyone assumes that the hard part is being away from Pete (and Sophie).  Which is, honestly, the hardest part.  But really, my response should be "hard, but good."  Because that's what it is.  Life in Spain is just immeasurably harder than life in the US.  Yes, of course it's getting easier. I have great friends.  I speak the language better.  I understand what I'm doing more.  And I LOVE my job.  But it's really hard.  It's hard to negotiate simple tasks that take 10 seconds in the US.  It's hard to find things that I want to buy.  And forget pricing things at different places.  If I can find it, I buy it.  As I've documented here, grocery shopping is hard, cooking is hard.  Life is just harder here.  Even if Peter were here, life would still be harder.  Harder isn't bad.  But going home and being reminded how easy everything is made coming back very, very hard. 

I was also reminded how "home" home is.  My apartment here is starting to feel more like a home and San Sebastián feels familiar, but it's not home.  If home is where the heart is, my home and my heart are in Chicago.  Where a warm little kitty snuggles on my lap within ten seconds of sitting down.  Where I can hold my husband's hand, see his face, and hear his voice untouched by digital transformation and distance.  Here isn't home.  Not like that.

I'm trying not to wish away my time here.  To enjoy it.  To enjoy the challenges, the joys, and the friendships.  My challenge for myself between now and November is to try to enjoy this life more.  To not think about what I don't have, but to cherish what I do have. And I am working on that.  And will continue to work on it.

But it's hard not to count down the days.   36 days until I go to Paris for a week and bring back some American friends to San Sebastián.  65 days until Peter comes to visit for a little over a week.  98 days until I go home again.

Quick update

I've been in the US for a week and a couple of days now ... my trip is wrapping up on Monday.  I have had a great, great time here and have been feeling sorry for myself about my upcoming return trip to Spain.  I know it will be really very hard for me to go back and hard for a couple of days once I get there, but I also know I'll survive.  More soon ...

Today's the day!

Greetings from the beautiful Madrid Barajas airport!  I sucked it up and paid for internet, since I have a nearly 4 hour layover here (and I desperately needed to charge my iPad which didn't get charged last night - even though it was plugged into my computer.  BOOO!  Also, there are no outlets just setting around the airport for you to do this)!  Plus I wanted to update you all a little bit on life the past few weeks.  I have been totally and completely swamped with work.  I've been trying like crazy to get everything done before I left.  I definitely have plans to work while I'm home (I even have a couple of meetings planned)!  I need to re-write a paper draft, analyze some data, preparing stimuli, and write part of an application for a grant I'm applying for.  I managed to finish a lot of stuff while I was working like a crazy person, so I'm leaving feeling good.  We'll see how I feel about work when I return in <2 weeks.

It's funny how much easier travel is now than just a month ago when I flew to Puerto Rico.  I've had actual conversations with actual Spanish people at the bus stop, the hotel, the hotel restaurant and the airport.  Before I relied a lot on "I don't understand" or "I don't speak Spanish" when people would talk to me, but now I muddle a long.  As soon as I open my mouth it's clear that I'm a "guiri" (not from around here), but people understand me more or less and I understand them (mostly).  I don't get identified as a foreigner much when I'm in San Sebastián, but as soon as I'm in an area with more foreigners, I do.  The funny thing is that Spanish people assume I'm from the following places (in this order):  Ireland, England, France, Canada.  Obviously, French people don't mistake me for French - and anyone who has spent more than 10 minutes with people from the UK or Ireland knows I'm not from there.  But I just found out that the doorman of our building was referring to me as "the Irish girl" for the past three months - I told him I was going "home" to Chicago yesterday, and he was pretty surprised.  Anyhow, travel is much smoother now that I'm getting a stronger command of the language.  A lot of it is still stressful and crazy, but this time there were no lost tickets at the airport and my bag came in underweight!  This, in and of itself, is a minor miracle since I packed another suitcase inside my big suitcase + my various stuff for two weeks of travel.  In other travel news, at the end of this trip, I will (or should) have elite status on American Airlines.  Which means 2 (TWO!!) free checked bags, along with priority boarding, security, check-in and priority for upgrades.  This will make traveling for the following year much more pleasant.

Before I left I wrote a list of things I will miss in Spain while I'm gone, so I can look at it on my way back and not be too sad to leave again:  Pintxos, cheap food and drink, good bread, my friends, live music multiple days a week, gelato, 1 and 2 euro coins (seriously, why don't we have these in the US?), my stripey blanket, great weather (mostly) where you don't need air conditioning and rarely need heat.  Others I can't remember right now :)

This week was also San Fermin.  You may think you don't know what San Fermin is, but I can almost guarantee you do.  I'll give you a hint, San Fermin is a festival that takes place in Pamplona.  That's right - the running of the bulls.  Pamplona is about an hour south of San Sebastián and they run dozens of buses all day between the two cities during San Fermin.  Unless you have a car, the way you do San Fermin is:  arrive at 10 or 11 pm, stay up all night (usually drinking), then at 5 am, get as close to the fences as you can to watch the 7 am running of the bulls through the streets and into the stadium.  Then you can stay for bullfights, etc.  Everyone wears all white outfits with a red kerchief around the neck and a red belt.  I didn't go this year, in part because I am not crazy and did not want to stay up all night (especially within a few days of changing time zones).  Plus, huge crowds and tons of drinking isn't really my scene.  Anyhow, it's been fun watching people arrive and leave for San Fermin in their crazy costumes.

Since my allotted hour of internet is nearly up, I will sign off and try to find some food and entertain myself for the 2.5 hours before my flight boards!