I'm flying again, though this time for reasons unblog-able and not for my usual "I get to go see my husband! And my cat! And eat non-Spanish food! And walk around carrying coffee!!" reasons. I will still get to eat non-Spanish food, so I suppose that is a win.
But this trip is more stressful and less joyful than normal. I'm already exhausted, and I know it's just started. The exhaustion is not really my fault. My flight today left Bilbao at 6:50. In the morning. Which meant I got to the airport when they opened at 6. Which meant I had to be up around 5. And going to sleep around midnight**, that left me with 5 hours of sleep at the start of a very, very long few days. When I rolled out of bed at 5, little did I know the fun was just beginning. I headed down to the lobby - all my stuff in tow at around 5:30, so I could grab breakfast and catch whatever shuttle departure happened between 5:45 and 6. The airport is 5 minutes from the hotel, so I figured I could cut things a little close. I was anxious to get this show on the road though, since I am not flying my usual Iberia-everyone-shows-up-late-including-the-pilot-and-crew airline. Instead I am flying on a German airline, so I assumed (correctly) an on-time departure.
I was minding my own business, digging into my croissant and yogurt and various meat and cheese products that they laid out in the "pre-breakfast" buffet, when four super-drunk Basque guys stumbled in. At first, the demanded a drink at the hotel bar from the poor front-desk guy. When he said he couldn't serve them, but they could have breakfast, they stumbled over to the buffet. They were thinking about food and then started chucking rolls at each other. Then they progressed to the canned peaches. When I got hit with one, I decided it was time to get out of dodge and headed out to my shuttle. The driver was loading my suitcase in the van, when we heard some screaming and shouting from inside. So the driver ordered me to get in the van and then locked me in. Which was good because it turns out the drunk dudes were throwing punches in the lobby and the tiny front-desk guy was trying to break up the fight. So my driver was a bigger guy and headed in to try to break up the fight. The fight then spilled out into the parking lot and there was more screaming in Basque and punching. Then (this is why it's good the van was locked), a dude tried to get into the driver's seat. Eventually, they got tired of fighting and the police came and my driver was able to drive me to the airport. But not without cutting it sort of close. I made my flight, and hopefully my bags did too! The Spanish gate attendant was not even remotely concerned about it, but we'll see when I get to baggage claim, I guess.
My flight to Frankfurt was uneventful, though seemed really long (largely because it was not the quick 45 minute hop from Bilbao to Madrid. Anyhow, I'm going to try to relax and enjoy the Frankfurt airport as much as I can before my flight leaves in just under 3 hours. I'm hoping beyond hope for a little sleep before I land, since I'm sure I can use the relaxation.
** I TRIED to go to bed at 10, but when you are used to staying up late, and you're stressed and anxious, and you're already not the World Champion Sleeper, sleep is not easy to come by.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sad
At Christmas Eve Mass, Father Rick started his homily by singing "Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord" from Godspell.
All of a sudden, in the middle of the church, I was tearing up. The memory struck me the way they do on TV shows. You close your eyes and flash back to the moment that you first heard something or first did something, and your senses are overwhelmed by remembering things exactly as they were.
When I was a junior in high school, I was in our school musical, Godspell. I loved theatre ... not as much as I loved violin, but I really, really loved to sing. And I loved to perform, and I loved to hang out with my friends. And Godspell was this perfect storm of everything I loved. Every rehearsal, I loved that show. I was insanely busy then - the same weekend of the show was the state competition for another group I was in (Future Problem Solving - long story). We finished the show one night, we drove to Ann Arbor at the crack of dawn the next day, competed, and I came home for the show that night. It turns out we did well in the competition, placing in the state for the first (and only time) in my 8 years of competing. I was competing in a million things, taking a thousand lessons, and while I loved it all, that show was like a little haven. It wasn't the only show I did in high school, but it was easily my favorite. I got to sing the best song in the show which ended with incredibly high notes that lasted forever. I got to play a number of silly, funny, and beautiful characters. I loved it.
I always thought of theatre as a side project in my life, but Godspell takes up a big piece of the forefront of my high school memories. I remember working on the sets and costumes. I remember exactly what I wore in that show and how great it felt to wear the costume every night. I remember climbing the onstage scaffolding at the end of my song and standing over everyone's heads as I got to sing with pure joy. I remember losing my voice for our last performance and whispering almost everything until I got to my solo, in hopes of having some voice remaining. I remember all the words to all the songs, and a fair bit of the dialog too. More than any other play or musical, this one made a mark on me that has yet to fade 12 years later.
Our director always wanted me to do more theatre, but theatre took up a lot of time and was hard to do in conjunction with everything else I did. He wasn't always the easiest person to work for because he demanded a lot from us, but he led us in what always ended up being joyful experiences.
Today, he passed away unexpectedly. The news hit me harder than I would have guessed it would. And, since I'm pretty sure I never told him thank you for all of the joy he let us experience singing, dancing and playing on stage, I figured I would say it here:
Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me those opportunities, those chances to do something I truly loved to do. Thank you for teaching me well. I really, really appreciate it.
All of a sudden, in the middle of the church, I was tearing up. The memory struck me the way they do on TV shows. You close your eyes and flash back to the moment that you first heard something or first did something, and your senses are overwhelmed by remembering things exactly as they were.
When I was a junior in high school, I was in our school musical, Godspell. I loved theatre ... not as much as I loved violin, but I really, really loved to sing. And I loved to perform, and I loved to hang out with my friends. And Godspell was this perfect storm of everything I loved. Every rehearsal, I loved that show. I was insanely busy then - the same weekend of the show was the state competition for another group I was in (Future Problem Solving - long story). We finished the show one night, we drove to Ann Arbor at the crack of dawn the next day, competed, and I came home for the show that night. It turns out we did well in the competition, placing in the state for the first (and only time) in my 8 years of competing. I was competing in a million things, taking a thousand lessons, and while I loved it all, that show was like a little haven. It wasn't the only show I did in high school, but it was easily my favorite. I got to sing the best song in the show which ended with incredibly high notes that lasted forever. I got to play a number of silly, funny, and beautiful characters. I loved it.
I always thought of theatre as a side project in my life, but Godspell takes up a big piece of the forefront of my high school memories. I remember working on the sets and costumes. I remember exactly what I wore in that show and how great it felt to wear the costume every night. I remember climbing the onstage scaffolding at the end of my song and standing over everyone's heads as I got to sing with pure joy. I remember losing my voice for our last performance and whispering almost everything until I got to my solo, in hopes of having some voice remaining. I remember all the words to all the songs, and a fair bit of the dialog too. More than any other play or musical, this one made a mark on me that has yet to fade 12 years later.
Our director always wanted me to do more theatre, but theatre took up a lot of time and was hard to do in conjunction with everything else I did. He wasn't always the easiest person to work for because he demanded a lot from us, but he led us in what always ended up being joyful experiences.
Today, he passed away unexpectedly. The news hit me harder than I would have guessed it would. And, since I'm pretty sure I never told him thank you for all of the joy he let us experience singing, dancing and playing on stage, I figured I would say it here:
Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me those opportunities, those chances to do something I truly loved to do. Thank you for teaching me well. I really, really appreciate it.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
La Sociedad
The boyfriend of a friend of mine is a member of a sociedad** here. Basically, it is a members-only organization that has access to a communal kitchen and a large dining room. The sociedades tend to be male-only in terms of membership, and historically, only men were allowed in at all. Of course, times have changed, so Friday 10 of us were invited over to cook at the Sociedad.
Only 3 people (including the member) are allowed in the kitchen at a time, so we had to cook in shifts. But overall it was a ton of fun. Not just eating our meal, but also watching everyone else eat and cook. We had pintxos to start, then huge salads, huge merluza (hake), risotto, revuelto de hongos (sort of scrambled eggs with fancy marinated mushrooms), quiche, flan, mini-cheesecake things, fruit, etc. etc. It was all delicious, and we all ate a disgusting amount of food.
But most of all it was really, really fun. I laughed harder than I have in weeks. Then, yesterday was another friend of mine's boyfriend's birthday. So another dinner. And more fun and laughing. And lots of Spanish people singing tons of songs.
And then today was unfairly gorgeous. Nearly 60 degrees and sunny and fantastic. So I went for a long walk and was really grateful for this weekend and for my time here. While it's sometimes frustrating, and while I always miss Pete, I'm also really happy to live this life right now. So weekend 1 of "appreciate what I have" is officially a success.
You can read more about sociedades on wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Txoko. They're apparently called txokos in Basque, but no one really calls them that.
**Note: Sociedad should not be confused with Real Sociedad, the fútbol team here.
Only 3 people (including the member) are allowed in the kitchen at a time, so we had to cook in shifts. But overall it was a ton of fun. Not just eating our meal, but also watching everyone else eat and cook. We had pintxos to start, then huge salads, huge merluza (hake), risotto, revuelto de hongos (sort of scrambled eggs with fancy marinated mushrooms), quiche, flan, mini-cheesecake things, fruit, etc. etc. It was all delicious, and we all ate a disgusting amount of food.
But most of all it was really, really fun. I laughed harder than I have in weeks. Then, yesterday was another friend of mine's boyfriend's birthday. So another dinner. And more fun and laughing. And lots of Spanish people singing tons of songs.
And then today was unfairly gorgeous. Nearly 60 degrees and sunny and fantastic. So I went for a long walk and was really grateful for this weekend and for my time here. While it's sometimes frustrating, and while I always miss Pete, I'm also really happy to live this life right now. So weekend 1 of "appreciate what I have" is officially a success.
You can read more about sociedades on wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Txoko. They're apparently called txokos in Basque, but no one really calls them that.
**Note: Sociedad should not be confused with Real Sociedad, the fútbol team here.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
A New Year
I have a bunch of professional resolutions this year. There are things I really want to change in my attitude and performance regarding my job. But I also have a few personal things I want to try to be better at. Since I'm a sucker for accountability, I'll write them here and check in occasionally on how I'm doing.
- Eat better and move more. Peter and I say the best diet plan is "Eat less s*** and move your a**". I'm not really feeling the need to diet, but I do want to try to reduce the amount of garbage I eat even more than I have since moving to Spain. I walk a TON here, but I also want to purposefully carve out space for actual cardio exercise that leaves me sweating and strength training/pilates work. I feel better when I do it, so I need to be consistent about it. Once there's daylight for hours besides when I am at work, I also want to try to start running so Pete and I can run a 5k. We'll see how that goes.
- Worry only about things I can control. If I can't control it, I don't get to worry about it. Either it will happen or it won't and worrying about it only causes me stress. Those things I can control, I can worry about, but only if I'm taking actionable steps to get the outcome I want. So I'm allowed to worry about job applications while I'm sending them in, or job interviews while I prepare for them. But I am not allowed to worry about the decisions the committees make while the application is out of my hands. Either they like me enough to interview or hire me or they don't. Either there's a job in academia for me this year, or there's not. If there's not, I'll figure things out at that point, but no worrying until this point. This is a really, really important one for me. Worrying about jobs, getting a job in the US, when I will be able to live in the same place as Pete again has taken up tons of my mental energy while living in Spain. Sometimes, it's gotten in the way of me enjoying the fact that I live in a beautiful city in an interesting country with great people and have a great job. I need to focus more on being grateful for that ... which leads me to the final resolution.
- Be happy for what I have instead of lamenting what I don't. Sure, I'd love a tenure-track job in Chicago where I could be with Pete and Sophie all the time. But I don't have that. Instead, I have a great job that I love and that I'm good at where I learn new things every day, and get to have this crazy ridiculous adventure. I have a husband who supports me. I have a whole lot more than a lot of people and I want to try to just be more peaceful with that instead of always wanting more. I don't want to be one of those people who is never satisfied ...
So that's the plan. Hopefully I can be a little bit better about these goals every day. I'll keep you posted.
- Eat better and move more. Peter and I say the best diet plan is "Eat less s*** and move your a**". I'm not really feeling the need to diet, but I do want to try to reduce the amount of garbage I eat even more than I have since moving to Spain. I walk a TON here, but I also want to purposefully carve out space for actual cardio exercise that leaves me sweating and strength training/pilates work. I feel better when I do it, so I need to be consistent about it. Once there's daylight for hours besides when I am at work, I also want to try to start running so Pete and I can run a 5k. We'll see how that goes.
- Worry only about things I can control. If I can't control it, I don't get to worry about it. Either it will happen or it won't and worrying about it only causes me stress. Those things I can control, I can worry about, but only if I'm taking actionable steps to get the outcome I want. So I'm allowed to worry about job applications while I'm sending them in, or job interviews while I prepare for them. But I am not allowed to worry about the decisions the committees make while the application is out of my hands. Either they like me enough to interview or hire me or they don't. Either there's a job in academia for me this year, or there's not. If there's not, I'll figure things out at that point, but no worrying until this point. This is a really, really important one for me. Worrying about jobs, getting a job in the US, when I will be able to live in the same place as Pete again has taken up tons of my mental energy while living in Spain. Sometimes, it's gotten in the way of me enjoying the fact that I live in a beautiful city in an interesting country with great people and have a great job. I need to focus more on being grateful for that ... which leads me to the final resolution.
- Be happy for what I have instead of lamenting what I don't. Sure, I'd love a tenure-track job in Chicago where I could be with Pete and Sophie all the time. But I don't have that. Instead, I have a great job that I love and that I'm good at where I learn new things every day, and get to have this crazy ridiculous adventure. I have a husband who supports me. I have a whole lot more than a lot of people and I want to try to just be more peaceful with that instead of always wanting more. I don't want to be one of those people who is never satisfied ...
So that's the plan. Hopefully I can be a little bit better about these goals every day. I'll keep you posted.
Raising the stakes
More to come soon, I promise.
In the interim, I will tell you that I managed to commit myself to five 90 minute Spanish classes a week and four 60 minute Basque classes a week. My second (actually second and fifth, if you count French as my second and Russian as my fourth) language acquisition will be getting quite the workout for the next few months.
I'm excited about this as I've already seen the change in pace in our Spanish class by cutting our class from 4 students to 2. Increasing the frequency will only help me learn more. I am so, so, so impatient. I'm impatient to get a job. I'm impatient to get back home. I'm impatient to be able to communicate how I want to communicate (not fits and starts, trying to remember the imperfect tense or subjunctive mood of a particular verb). I'm impatient for everything. And part of my New Year's resolution is increasing my patience. Or at least doing something about it when I can change the outcome. So here is my change. I've committed myself to research on language (either my research at work or learning the language) from 8am to 7:30pm Monday through Friday. Here's hoping it pays off.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
From Madrid-Barajas (as usual)
I am sitting at the lovely Madrid airport, exhausted as usual here. I had an incredibly great trip home and will post about that trip and some resolutions probably later today or tomorrow. For now, I'm trying to force myself to stay awake until my flight boards at 11:30. I should get back to my apartment around 3:30 which will mean I've been up for right around 24 hours straight. I'll take a little nap, unpack, and probably hang out with some friends a little bit this evening. Then I'll head to bed nice and early (hopefully around 10). I'm hoping I can deal with jet lag better this time than last (when it took me over 10 days to feel back to normal, and I also got sick). My flights in both directions were packed with study abroad kids which is a really interesting population to fly with. I'll leave this short post with the following anecdote:
I have been mistaken for a study abroad student myself 4(!) times today. This means that people think I am 20, which is flattering, but really weird too.
I have been mistaken for a study abroad student myself 4(!) times today. This means that people think I am 20, which is flattering, but really weird too.
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