Today ...

Today has been a weird day, I think largely because of the weather.  After two unbearably hot days, we had thunderstorms last night and the weather cooled down considerably.  I slept well until around 4 am, when I woke up after a dream that shook me some how.  It wasn't really a nightmare, but was scary and somehow stuck with me after I woke up.  I actually got out of bed to shake the dream loose a little bit.  It was really weird and I woke up feeling out of sorts this morning.  It was a grey, dreary day, but fortunately, I got a TON done at work.

I went to my music night and had a good time for an hour and a half or so, then I headed home.  I was walking toward the taxi stand listening to a podcast, when some music came on in the background of the podcast.  The first chord sounded familiar, and then I realized it was a song that I really, really love by the Avett Brothers.  It was so weird to hear this song in this context ... and it's a song I have to be careful with anyhow because the lyrics are very emotional and it makes me a sort of happy-sad to hear it.  It has a very Chicago connotation for me - cooking in my kitchen singing it.  And suddenly hearing it on the streets of Spain ... it sort of kicked my butt.  I think I stood on the street corner, hand over my mouth, and tears in my eyes for 10 seconds, but it felt like an hour.

I'm not sure I can even explain it, but here's what it feels like:  95% of the time, I'm living my life here.  It's different than my Chicago Life, for sure, but it's still my life.  Then, something like my dream last night and or hearing this song happens, and it's like I'm knocked off one track and onto another, where I have a glimpse of my Chicago Life.  It suddenly feels like I'm just treading water waiting for my Real Life to start up again.  And then I'm fine, back on the "normal" track, but those few seconds or minutes send deep shock waves that result in aftershocks for a few hours.  In some ways it's sad ... in other ways, it's beautiful because it reminds me that I have this life in Chicago that is so beautiful that it's okay, good even, to miss it.

Two weeks from now at this time, I'll be in the Holiday Inn Express Bilbao, trying to sleep before my very (very) early flight the next day.  And I can NOT wait.