Clearing the clouds

Yesterday was inexplicably hard.  Waking up was hard and my bed was much, much more comfortable than the thought of getting out of bed and starting yet another day here.  I walked to work from the bus stop in the rain which did nothing to improve my already sour mood.  Work was fine, but quiet as always here, which means I don't have a lot of human interaction during my day.  I went back to my apartment, and felt really, really cranky and frustrated.  I managed to try a new recipe last night which turned out okay (not fantastic, but better than edible), but I was feeling frustrated about work possibilities in the future ... and honestly, I was just tired of being here and being away from Pete.  Yesterday was primarily cloudy and gross.  Things aren't shiny and new anymore which means less excitement in every day.  I have a routine and I actually LIVE here.  I see now why most people in college study abroad for one semester.  Typically, a semester is about 3 or 4 months.  That period of time is enough that you can get the experience of living in a new place, without the shine wearing off.

Even though things were way, way scarier (and in a lot of ways harder) when I first moved here, they were also new.  I was learning in leaps and bounds in Spanish, starting new projects that were exciting, learning to live in a new place, being able to explore every day.

But now.  

I get more and more frustrated by the same stupid mistakes I make in Spanish (I swear I know the difference between imperfecto and indefenido tenses, but I perpetually confuse them when I'm telling a story orally).  The new projects aren't so new anymore and are in the slogging state, where you just need to do a billion different things before you get any results.  And living here is becoming like living anywhere else.  A mix of good and bad things, but routine.

So, I'm continuing my attempts at shaking things up a little.  I have Spanish class tonight and then I'm joining my friends for a quick drink and a pintxo.  Then tomorrow there is an outing with the school where I take Spanish for pintxos.  So, I'm going there too.  Then more Spanish on Thursday and Friday.  Hopefully, the more I practice the easier the whole actually speaking Spanish part will get.  As my teacher says "poco a poco."  I'm trying to make a conscious effort to do more exercise besides my usual tons of walking.  I know Pilates will make me feel better, so I'm working on doing that at least 3-4 times a week with a bit of yoga thrown in.  Between the Pilates mat and the set of small hand weights I've procured, I can at least be in great shape when I go back to the US again in a few months. :)  

I'm not sure I've mentioned here, but between the walking up and down hills (mountains) all the damn time and eating well (though boringly), I've managed to lose quite a bit of weight being here.  Almost all of my pants/shorts/skirts are too big now (besides those which I purchased on my most recent trip home).  My dress for Molly's wedding was about 3 inches longer than it should have been because I'd lost weight - the corset back saved the day with the rest of the dress fitting as it should.  I'm guessing November and December trips to the US will include small shopping sprees. 

Anyway.  I woke up today feeling better.  This morning was cloudy and I thought it might rain on my way to work.  Instead, the clouds started clearing.  I feel better in part, I think, because before I fell asleep last night, I was reflecting on life here.  Even though I have hard days where I'm frustrated and tired of being here, I also have good days.  Great days even.  And even more than having good or great days, I look at how much progress I've made since coming here (especially in Spanish) and how much I've changed (in good ways), I'm very happy overall with my choice to come here.  Even without the good professional aspect, living in Spain has made me slow down, relax and be more patient with other people and with myself, which are all great accomplishments for me.

Don't drink the sangria

So last night was a co-worker's birthday, and like any event here, this means pintxos!

We went to two of my favorite pintxos bars and then one of my favorite cafes.  At the first cafe, there was a group of American women who made two rookie mistakes that made it clear to everyone that (a) they were not from around these parts and (b) obviously haven't taken the time to read a guidebook/website/anything about the culture and the customs around here (besides "these are good pintxos bars to go to).

So let me set the scene for you.  This particular bar is one of our favorite places because they have a huge terrace on one of the big plazas in the old part of town.  Inside, the bar itself is quite large, and always packed.  I think there are a couple of picnic-style tables in the back (though I think they're for raciones only - the larger plates), but the rest of the "tables" are tiny little shelfs jutting off the walls and, if you're really lucky, a wine barrel.  So, we managed to grab a wine barrel when we got in, and the tourists were at the barrel next to us.  The traditional thing to do at pintxos bars in the Basque Country and (tapas bars in Spain in general) is to have 1-2 pintxos each at a bar, a small glass of wine/beer/cider with your food, and then move on to another place.  These Americans ordered 18 pintxos to split between the three of them (ordering them all at once, which mean they all came out at once).  They also ordered directly form the bar instead of any of the hot pintxos off the blackboards.  (More about the blackboard vs. bar pintxos soon ... as well as learning what the best pintxos are at each place.)  But, in addition to this, they made the biggest mistake you can make in northern Spain.  They ordered sangria.

So I know everyone in the US has this idea of Spanish food and drink from tapas restaurants and tv shows.  In a tapas restaurant, you order the tapas for the table, typically all at once, and then the restaurant paces out what they bring to you, so you get a little bit for sharing at a time.  Plus, you order a huge pitcher of sangria, that's what they drink in Spain, right?

No.

In Spain, especially in northern Spain, you might drink homemade sangria at home, but when you go out you get wine, beer, cider, or a soft drink (grape juice, soda, etc.).  Never sangria.  You can tell that you never get sangria here because when someone does order sangria, they fancy it up by putting brightly colored straws and umbrellas in it, as if a neon warning sign to the other patrons "THESE ARE TOURISTS.  THEY WILL ASK YOU TO TAKE THEIR PICTURE AND NOT UNDERSTAND HOW WE SHARE SPACE IN PINTXOS BARS."  The other major no-no is ordering so much food at once.  First of all, I can't imagine any self-respecting Spaniard eating more than 1 or 2 pintxos per bar before moving on.  And even if you wanted more, you don't have room on a wine barrel table for 18 different tiny plates.

It didn't help that these girls were obnoxious and the sorts of tourists who make you want to punch them in the head because they are so insistent on NOT learning anything about the culture before they come, expect everyone to speak to them in English, etc.  One girl actually said "I feel like they should let visitors reserve these tables so they don't have to wait."  Or, princess, you could just do what everyone else who walks into this bar does.  Wait for a table.  Or stand and eat with your plate in your hand.  Just like the 80 year old couple behind you is doing right now, since you are standing at an empty table since you've finished your pintxos and are just sipping on your wine and standing around a table.

So lessons here:
1. Read about the culture before you go to a place
2. At least learn how to say "Do you speak English", "I don't speak X" and "Thank you" in the language of the culture you're going to
3. Don't drink the sangria.

Scattered

After a couple of days of strong focus, I'm now back to being sort of scattered.  I've been fighting off a cold and general malaise, so this weekend will be a good time to catch up (especially since two of my closest friends are out of town for the weekend).  There's some talk of going to Vittoria for a fiesta, but I'm not sure I'll go, especially if they end up staying overnight (yikes!).

I had my Spanish class yesterday, which was really, really good.  I'd forgotten a lot since my last class in mid-June, but not as much as I'd thought I had, and most of it came back really quickly yesterday.  I really want to focus on grammar, vocabulary and speaking in the class, since I need to be able to talk more easily (but hate making grammar mistakes!).  I wish I'd done this class a while ago, because it's really good practice for me to have to speak for a whole hour.  I'll decide in the fall if I'm going to continue, but I think I might, especially if the classes at work switch to only twice a week (and especially, especially if I'm in the lower of the two classes that are going to be happening at work)!

Today I have a lunch meeting downtown with a friend from work who is on maternity leave.  Then more Spanish class ... then (hopefully) a relaxing Friday evening!

Feeling at home(ish)

Well, it took me long enough, but I'm finally starting to be settled in.  I slept for 6.5 straight hours last night and woke up feeling really refreshed and great.  I think I was extra tired last night for two reasons.  I think I'm coming down with a cold (it seems to be going around here at work and everyone is sniffling and coughing).  I also went out with my Basque friend and some of her friends last night which meant all Spanish all the time for almost 4 hours.  I understood maybe 40% of the conversation, which was less than normal, but could be expected since half the conversation was about people's summer travel which involved lots of town names around here that I don't know yet.  Anyhow, we'll see how exhausted I am after my first proper Spanish class this evening!  I  came into work early so that I can leave around 5:15 to make it to my 6 o'clock class across town.  But I'm still feeling kind of sickly this afternoon, I may run home after lunch for a quick rest before class.  Since "after lunch" means 3pm, it's only a couple of hours off my day, and it will be worth it if it means not getting sick!

It's been funny because the shift in feeling better happened after Tuesday night when I took some visitors out for pintxos.  My friend Alison's husband's cousin and the cousin's husband recently moved from the US to Barcelona, where the husband is also a postdoc.  They were visiting San Sebastián for their vacation.  I took them out for a pintos and then to our favorite outdoor bar for a drink.  Then we headed out for music night.  Walking in and seeing my friends made me realize how lucky I am to have a group of people in my life who I truly enjoy being around.  This was also the first time that I knew more about this place than someone else.  So I knew where to go when my first choice of pintos bar was too crowded.  I knew the best place to go when we wanted to sit outside.  And I knew how to get everywhere.  I left that night feeling a lot better about being here, so it was definitely great to have that feeling.

In other great developments, I brought decaffeinated mint tea back with me from the US.  Decaffeinated tea just doesn't really exist here outside of black tea, which is fine, but requires more stuff to make it tasty for me.  Decaffeinated coffee exists mostly in powdered form ... if I can find it "de maquina" (by machine, or made like normal espresso), it's a miracle.  I can get "descafeinado con leche" from the vending machine upstairs and it's palatable but tiny and quite sweet.  I could also buy nespresso capsules for our coffee maker in the office here (we get a discount for buying in bulk since EVERYONE drinks this), but once again it's teeny tiny, and very sweet.  But mint tea!  It's a miracle!  After lunch, I make myself a cup and then a second  cup from the same tea leaves.  I'm going through it so quickly (even with two cups per bag and one bag a day) that I'm going to need my US visitors to bring reinforcements. :)

I can tell I'm getting more used to it here because I am now tempting fate with the busses.  It takes me a good 6 minutes to walk at a leisurely pace to the bus from my apartment including the elevator or stairs down (depending on my state of dishevelment upon leaving my apartment and whether I need to put my earrings on in the elevator or whether I can take the stairs).  The bus tracker here is highly accurate, so if I haven't packed up my computer, I have to pack it up when the bus tracker says 9 or 10 minutes 'til my bus arrives.  This period needs to be more like 12 minutes if I haven't packed my lunch and snacks yet.  14 if I don't have shoes on yet or I need to pack the rest of my work bag.  But for the past two mornings, I've been waiting 'til it says 7 minutes for my bus and then sprinting out the door, down the stairs, and up the hill and arriving at the stop as my bus pulls up.  From work, I need 10 minutes to walk (quickly) and 12 minutes for a leisurely walk to my stop, especially since my office is as far from the main doors to our office and the stairs out of the building.  Counting in packing up, I should leave when the bus tracker says I have 15 minutes (at the shortest).  Yesterday, it was 9 minutes, and I was basically running the whole way to the stop (in heels).  I've hopefully learned my lesson, since I like a leisurely stroll more than a sprint.  Though, it was good since I didn't feel like I needed to do any cardio yesterday after two sprints to the bus, a 45 minute walk to downtown, and then walking around for nearly 2 hours with the Spaniards!

Sleep

I managed to sleep for 6.5 (almost straight) hours last night, which is more than I've slept in a row since I got back.  I feel much more well-rested, but also more positive about life here in general.  It's really a miracle what sleep can do for me!

We've been having some crappy weather lately - warm and humid during the day, then cold and rainy in the evenings.  Basically, you need to have a sweater, a raincoat, and an umbrella with you at all times here, since you never know what the weather will be like.

Today has already been super productive at work, which will hopefully continue for the next 7 hour so hours!

Okay okay ...

So I've decided I need to cut my drama and be a grown up.  I spent some time looking at job postings today, so we'll see how that whole things go.

I also decided I needed to learn more Spanish, so I talked to my Spanish teacher about definitely taking 3 classes a week until September.  I'm feeling way better about that.  I also hung out with my friends tonight which was good and relaxing.  Unfortunately, I didn't make it through the day nap-less, but I'm still hoping I can sleep tonight.  We'll see!  More later.

Crabbiness

I've been in a funk since returning to Spain.  I'm still really messed up on sleep, which makes things worse than they really are, but I'm hoping to kick this grossness to the curb sooner than later.  As I said, my sleep has been totally wacky since I returned.  I typically can't sleep until 2 or 3 at night and am waking up several times throughout the night.  Last night I managed to fall asleep by about 1:30, but was up at 3, 4:30, and 6.   Even letting myself sleep in until 8:30, I slept no more than 6 hours last night, which is pretty typical for the last week.  A series of nighttime naps really isn't doing it for me, so I typically need a nap in the afternoon ... which probably causes the erratic nighttime sleeping.  I'm going to try to go without a nap today, but the amount of yawning I'm doing at 10 am doesn't bode well for this plan.

I've also been feeling sort of gross physically, which is probably also a consequence and cause of the weird sleep stuff.  I've been super congested with allergy grossness since returning.  My stomach is always sort of crabby after a long flight, but it's been worse and more prolonged than normal.  I go from not being hungry at all to being starving in a split second.  I know that when I get back on a more normal sleep schedule, this will all go back to normal.

The worst has been my funk over work and other things.  Because I am so, so tired due to the weird sleeping patterns, I have the attention span of a goldfish.  This means it's taking me twice as a long to get anything done, which meant working over the weekend. While I was working, I was crabby that I was doing that instead of going out exploring the city.

On a positive note, the weather has been beautiful for the past few days, which results in much less crabbiness than if it were rainy.  Unfortunately, I'm not a lay around on the beach sort of person (especially when it's windy and 70 degrees - I'm the person wearing a sweater outside because I'm cold, not laying in a bikini), so I'm not taking advantage of the weather as much as I should.  I did go for a long walk yesterday, and two long walks Saturday, which helped with the crabbiness (but not so much with the productivity)

Anyhow, I'm hoping a new week means less crabbiness and a happier more productive time for me.  I may be going to the Netherlands for a workshop in September that would mean all of my September weekends are now booked with travel or visitors.  That said, I'm happy for all of that business, since I get things done more easily with a full calendar than an empty one.

Back to data and writing for me - and no more complaining about being back (at least for a while!).